Beauty is unquestionably subjective, and it's impossible to rank people on how much beauty they possess – but People magazine has given it a shot anyway, and it's come to the conclusion that Drew Barrymore is more beautiful than you.
No, not a different Drew Barrymore that you don't know about – Drew Barrymore the actress Drew Barrymore. Drew Barrymore has been named as People magazine's Most Beautiful Human of 2007 or something, and we are green with envy – if only we'd have started drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes by the age of nine, then moving onto marijuana at 10 and cocaine at 12 before briefly marrying a man who climbs inside dead animals for a living, then we'd have been noticed by People too. Damn you, Drew Barrymore, damn you to hell.
For a reformed wild-child, Drew Barrymore is awfully good at keeping out of the news – only surfacing to star in films with angry baked bean-flinger Hugh Grant or quietly become one of Hollywood's top-earning actresses despite being in nonsense like Fever Pitch and 50 First Dates.
But not even Drew Barrymore can stop a story about her being beautiful from reaching the news. People magazine's annual Beautiful People list has just been released, and Drew Barrymore is the winner. Last year Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie topped the list, so that must mean that Drew Barrymore is as beautiful as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie combined. Drew Barrymore. We know.
Why Drew Barrymore? Perhaps because she's got a film coming out soon, who knows. Anyway, this is what Drew Barrymore said to celebrate the award:
"Some days I feel preppy. Some days I feel rock 'n' roll. Some days I feel hippie. Some days I feel glamorous. Some days I feel like a rebellious 13-year-old boy. And I think all are acceptable."
As award-winners ourselves (we mentioned that, right? We mentioned that we WON AN AWARD TODAY), we can totally sympathise with Drew Barrymore. On hearing that we won, we loudly said that we felt like a rebellious 13-year-old boy too – only to be informed that if we got one we'd probably end up in some Vietnamese prison like Gary Glitter.
Among the runners-up of the People Most Beautiful list were breasty Scarlett Johansson, fake-nosed Jennifer Aniston, fighty Patrick Dempsey, suicidey Halle Berry and vaguely erotic Jennifer Garner who are all, we can assume, currently reading People and saying "Drew Barrymore?" in a slightly befuddled way.
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arnold horshack says
she looks like the kid from that movie “mask”. Not the 1990’s jim carrey with a green face but the 1980’s cher movie with the kid that had some disease. Seriously, look at her. SHe has an abnormally large forehead and a fairly good-sized chin to boot. And that annoying lisp she has.How can anyone call he beautifuyl or sexy. I don’t get it. The only reason she’s famous is that she’s a third generation hollwood nepotism beneficiary.
Dolly says
Drew is a 1930’s actor revived from the dead. People rag is a glossy step above Star rag or National Enq. So what does that tell you, the pages look nicer
but its a load of crap. I’d be beautiful too if you airbrushed me! Truly that emperor doesn’t have any clothes. Barrymore is cute, like a button, or some lil 3 year old
you pat on the head and shoe out of the way. People rag is an insult to any person’s intelligence.
jorge says
i saw her in a restaurant last year with her boyfriend…well she looked pretty actually.. she was with a white jeans and
looked hot!! she changes for the best almost i didnt recognize her
King Jimbo says
She’s a yes. Not a very enthusiastic yes but a yes all the same.
David says
Drew Barrymore is the most beautiful femal alive and totally HOT!!!!!!!! David
Riley says
why would you say something like that????”Damn you to hell?” Are you kidding me?! you can’t be that bored with your life to go try to turn peoples backs on a changed woman. i dont want to come off as rude but COME ON!!! By the way she is a very beautiful women inside and out and for all i no, if personalities matched looks you yourself would most likely be one of the ugliest people alive.
consider this a life lesson
Krystal says
Uhhh, I get told I look like Drew Barrymore all the time. I have a large forehead and I think large foreheads are pretty, much better than nasty small alien foreheads anyway. Drew is gorgeous. If you disagree then you must like manly women.
rinnie says
I agree but before you label just Jennifer as being fake nosed do a little research and you will find both Halle Berry and Jennifer Aniston have had rhinoplasty and Jen has had gum reduction.
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/2008/09/06/the-photo-jennifer-garner-does-not-want-you-to-see/