Sure, to most people Hugh Grant looks like the kind of charmingly demure English gentleman who'd avoid conflict like the plague, but don't make Hugh Grant angry; you wouldn't like him when he's angry – or carrying some baked beans. Or both.
Hugh Grant has apparently been arrested after becoming so enraged with a member of the paparazzi that he hurled a tub of baked beans at him in a manic display of angry haricot-based tomato sauce-fuelled rage, it has been reported. We're told that Hugh Grant's angry bean-chucking tantrum was so vehement that you could hear the blood-curdling cries of "Take that, you big bloody jolly buggering sod!" from up to three metres away.
Sometimes it's embarrassing to be British. When foreign celebrities lose their temper, anything can happen. Russell Crowe smashed a telephone into a hotel worker's face on nothing more than a whim, and Denise Richards throws a laptop at the nearest wheelchair-bound pensioner any time she feels slightly upset about something. But the British?
Well, we've got Hugh Grant.
Although you may know Hugh Grant as the annoyingly meek star of six billion identical romantic comedies about stuttering English pansies, in his belly lies the angriest lesbian in the world. Hugh Grant is angry about everything – angry that Jemima Timplyboodlebum split up with him, angry that he hasn't got any children, angry that he's rubbish at everything – but more than anything, Hugh Grant is angry that a photographer spoilt his delicious baked bean supper. So angry that he's been arrested for it. Reuters reports:
Hugh Grant has been arrested and questioned by police after a photographer accused the British actor of attacking him with a tub of baked beans. Photographer Ian Whittaker told the Daily Star tabloid that he and Grant, 46, clashed near the home of the "Four Weddings and a Funeral" star. Whittaker said Grant abused and kicked him on Tuesday before lobbing the beans.
And yesterday evening Hugh Grant was arrested, questioned over his terrifying bean-rage incident and bailed ahead of a court appearance next month, where his character witnesses will probably include that woman who handcuffed herself to him and Liz Hurley's wedding monkey.
As weird and confusing and hilarious as the news about Hugh Grant going medieval with some baked beans is, surely we're all missing the bigger picture here – who the hell keeps their baked beans in a tub? The big posh twat.
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69 says
Good on him I say. I love celeb freakouts.
King Jimbo says
First Princess Diana and now Hugh Grant. When will the paparazzi menace end?