Sports

hecklerspray has been thinking.

We've noticed how faddy diets are on the increase. From tried and tested granddaddies of the genre like Atkins to more novel approaches such as Shit Yourself Thin or Less Legs Equals Less Lardiness, literally everyone - everyone - is trying to lose weight in an innovative and ultimately unsuccessful way.

Which is why we've come up with our own five-step program… one that's absolutely guaranteed to work. Want to hear it? Okay, then.

1) Don't

2) Eat

3) As

4) Much

5) Food

An unusual approach, we're sure you'll agree. But one that has a certain merit to it. And one that would definitely be of use to the dark huddled masses of the Fat Children Of America. (more…)

The London Marathon offers all the best of British; a great crowd in high spirits (even in the rain!), great organisation, and… Jade Goody? Or not, according to the organisers of this years Flora London marathon.

Jade Goody, a woman previously most famous for not being able to pronounce very many words, has been criticised for not taking the marathon seriously and dropping out after 19 miles. (more…)

We have to admit that we’re a little disappointed - after all kinds of wild rumours, Kaiser Chiefs have decided that they aren’t going to release a World Cup song this year after all.

It’s a shame - the entire country was holding its breath and looking forward to seeing a fat bloke dressed up as the Artful Dodger going "Ohhhh! OOHHHHH!" all over the top of a Parklife b-side and doing keepy-uppies.

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They were the golden couple of bike-riding cancer victims and horrible MOR country-rock singers everywhere. And yet Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow have split up right before their wedding.

There’s bound to be a reason for the Armstrong/Crow split, but - for now - the usual nonsense about still having deep love and respect for each other is still being bandied about. Perhaps Sheryl Crow will write a dreadful song all about the split. Or perhaps Lance Armstrong will, um, ride a bike about it.

That last one didn’t really work, did it?

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American football is the only sport in the world so utterly dull that it needs to coerce a group of five pensioners to stagger on at halftime and play guitars quite loudly to wake up everyone in the crowd.

That’s the reason why The Rolling Stones are set to play a little concert at the Super Bowl halftime show this weekend. That or the massive surge in record sales after they’ve played to 140 million viewers. Not that The Rolling Stones have escaped the Super Bowl with all their pride intact, however.

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Now that Celebrity Wrestling has been made to walk the plank, we’ll never get to see people who aren’t really famous batter each other on television, right?

Wrong!

Everyone knows that wrestling is all leotards and prancing and choreography and nobody really gets hurt. To see people actually repeatedly smashing their fists into each other’s noses until one of them is so concussed or brain damaged that they can’t stand up, you need boxing! So now, to satisfy the huge bloodlust/famous people crossover market, comes Celebrity Boxing! Let’s take a look at the pugilists, with help, as ever, from Betfair.com.

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