For years now, butch gay men have been modelling themselves on Hulk Hogan. Handlebar moustache? Check. Tight t-shirt with the sleeves cut off? Check. Flings with musclebound studs called Brutus Beefcake? Check?
Wait, what?
Yes, according to Hogan?s estranged wife Linda, Terrance Gene ?Hulk Hogan? Bollea had an affair with the aforementioned Mr Beefcake, a.k.a. Ed Leslie. The claims emerged in her recent book: ?Wrestling the Hulk?, which, incidentally is also the name of an obscure sexual practice featuring three men in ripped trousers and a vat of green paint.
The Hulkster denies the claims, stating ?ME SO ANGRY? and ?HULK SMASH?.
Hang on, that's not right. What he actually said was:
“If any of that was true, I would admit it, and (if) I was a homosexual I would embrace it.?
Unfortunately, for all that Terry was commendably quick to claim he isn't actually gay as a window for beefy men, but that who cares if he is, right? Because it's fine?he doesn't take the sensible, gay-friendly step of just stopping right there, going on to say:
?It’s just so crazy to hear, so I have a real problem with it. I don’t mean to laugh about it, because it’s not funny. But it’s insane. It doesn’t make any sense to me.”
Although that directly contradicts his Twitter feed, which currently reads:
HULK SMASH REPUBLICAN TEA PARTY HOMOPHOBIA! And HAPPY COMING OUT DAY! HULK WEAR RAINBOW SHORTS IN CELEBRATION.
Actually, that last one might be by @FeministHulk. But still, on the whole- wethinks the Hulk doth protest too much.
Afterall, his sport is entirely dedicated to the homoeroticism of men, greased up, fake tanned and mauling each other in their underwear.
This was a guest post by ‘spray alumni Hilary W of the tremendous Tellysquawks.com. Okay?
Steve says
Ever met an attractive feminist? Me either.
Derooftrouser says
Now, might there be a reason you’re not attracted to women who would like to be treated equally?