The Britney Spears/ Kevin Federline child custody case has been going on forever, mainly because most people agree that the kids would be better off being looked after by a pack of hungry bears than either of them.
But, although the custody case must be emotionally hard for both Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, it's only financially hard for Britney Spears because she's paying all the legal bills.
And now Britney Spears wants that to stop. Britney's lawyers have been in court trying to get Kevin Federline to hire a lawyer with his own funds, but Kevin's not scared. If Britney wins this legal fight then he'll just have to find the best lawyers that a scrunched-up $5 bill and half a packet of Funyuns will buy.
Kevin Federline is an idiot. There, we've said it. What do you mean you already knew? What do you mean that Kevin Federline's forays into the world of hip-hop and autobiographical biopic scriptwriting left you in no doubt of his unquestionable stupidity?
No, listen. Kevin Federline is an idiot. A gigantic plank. A gold-plated knicker-brained bell-end. All that other stuff is just window dressing. Kevin Federline – the man who got Britney Spears to pay his legal fees in their custody battle because he was so poor – was recently caught leaving a $2,000 tip for a $365 meal.
Britney's lawyers have found out about Kevin's gormless tipping practises, and it's safe to say they're not exactly thrilled. If Kevin Federline can throw down that sort of gratuity in a restaurant, they're saying, then he's obviously rich enough to pay for his own $600-an-hour lawyers. And, yes, this means even more dreary court appearances. Lucky old us. The Associated Press reports:
Phillips had asked for the hearing to challenge a move by Federline's lead lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, to have Spears pay his legal bills. Commissioner Scott Gordon did not rule during the hearing, part of which was held behind closed doors. Superior Court spokesman Allan Parachini said the decision may be made Tuesday. During the hearing, Phillips said that Federline's lawyers have billed excessively and are entitled to only about $150,00 to $175,000. Phillips also said Federline has the money to pay his lawyers himself, citing excessive personal spending by him. "God bless!" Phillips said. "If he's willing to tip someone that much for serving him, he should be willing to pay his legal fees."
Kevin Federline will no doubt argue here that the discrepancy between his earnings and Britney Spears' earnings are more than enough to justify her paying both sides of the legal fees. Not only that, but if Britney Spears ever gets short of cash she can always sell those stalker-sent dildos of hers on eBay.
However, Britney's lawyers do have a point – does Kevin Federline really need a $600-per-hour legal team if he's not prepared to pay for them himself? The simple truth is that he doesn't. He really doesn't. Although fighting such a high-profile custody case usually requires a bunch of high-powered lawyers, let's not forget that Kevin Federline is fighting a custody battle against Britney Spears.
Honestly, Kevin Federline could have a homeless goat in a bowtie represent him in court and he'd still get to keep the kids. This is Britney Spears we're talking about, remember.
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munch says
Maybe next to the music, movies, TV, celebs, games and gossip tabs up the top you should have a BS tab…that’s Britney Spears by the way not bullshit.
Because really, judging by your writing frequency on her, surely she’d deserve her own little section, yeah?
euclid says
Yeah, Section 8.
gir says
euclid with the rabbit punch