Today is a dark day indeed – a day when evil itself rises up and stalks the land. It's the day that Playing With Fire, the first album by Britney Spears' husband and all-round delusional nitwit Kevin Federline, gets released.
You know what that means, right? It means that this time next week, there's every chance that Kevin Federline will be the biggest star on the planet, literally healing the sick and ending long-running global conflicts with the mellifluous power of his vocal ability and… what's that? Kevin Federline has had to cancel some of his first-ever concerts because hardly anyone is interested in seeing a lanky white bloke with cornrows rapping about a PopoZao? OK, scrap that last bit.
If we were Paris Hilton we'd be preparing to send Kevin Federline the biggest bunch of flowers we could lay our hands on. Because thanks to Kevin Federline, Paris Hilton now only has the second-dumbest musical career of the year. Today Kevin Federline's Playing With Fire album is released in America, and it's been a long road getting there. Almost exactly a year ago, the first fruits of Kevin Federline's musical direction, Y'All Ain't Ready, was leaked onto the internet and it was downhill all the way from there. Kevin Federline named his new album Playing With Fire way before any actual music was heard, and then when Federline debuted his skills at the Teen Choice Awards, most people ended up wishing he hadn't bothered.
Kevin Federline knew all this, of course; he knew we'd hate his music and he knew that he thought he was good. Chances are he didn't know that no record label would touch him with a shitty stick or that he'd be forced to give away his shoes as an incentive to get people to buy the album, but somehow Kevin Federline has risen above it all. Now Playing With Fire is out and the reviews aren't quite as bad as we imagined, perhaps Kevin Federline is going to get the last laugh after all. Nope – he's had to start cancelling concerts, apparently thanks to rubbish ticket sales as The Daily Record reports:
Wannabe rapper Kevin Federline's first US tour is likely to be cancelled – due to poor ticket sales. Sources say just a handful of tickets have been sold for the New York gig by Britney Spears' husband. And now promoters are planning to cut their losses and axe the show altogether. An insider said: "We may just cancel it. New Yorkers are clearly not fans." Kevin, 28, who has dubbed himself the "most under-rated performer in Hollywood", was due to strut his stuff at New York's Webster Hall on November 4. Another show in Cleveland, Ohio, on November 9 has also been cancelled.
While we're trying as hard as we can not to pull our 'told you so' face, it does look as if Kevin Federline is doomed to forever be in his wife's shadow. Unless that new Kevin Federline movie kicks ass, of course.
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Rick E. says
I don’t know if you seen this, but it’s pretty damn funny. It’s a Kevin Federline Whack-A-Mole game:
http://www.koat.com/interactivemedia/10177029/detail.html
sam balat says
has anyone seen this?
http://www.searchwithkevin.com
its a search engine where you win prizes from k-fed. it would be pretty funny to win that k-fed autograph they are giving away.
free playstation 3 says
Um… yeah. uh, really… I just don’t know what else to say about K-Fed…