That's it – we're quitting this charade of a dayjob and going into the knickerless vagina-lurching and desperate bald-headed rehab suicide attempt business full-time, because it seems to be raking in the cash for Britney Spears.
Although it's been two and a half years since she, you know, actually did stuff, Britney Spears is still rolling around in cash like Britney Spears's dog rolling around in its own shit. Thanks to the ongoing child custody battle between Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, court documents have been released showing that Britney Spears still makes $737,868 a month – around £4 million a year. At the same time the court documents also revealed how much Kevin Federline makes each month, but sadly we can't pass on the amount because our keyboards don't allow us to print the monetary symbol for some buttons and a marble he stole from a schoolboy once.
The Britney Spears/ Kevin Federline custody bitchfight shows no sign of letting up, with Kevin Federline taking no shortcuts to prove that, somehow, Britney Spears has beaten the odds to become and even worse parent than he is. So far Kevin Federline has served Britney Spears's old assistant along with Britney Spears's rehab and some girl who Britney Spears got off topless with once. And in addition there are the mysterious new claims that Britney Spears is a child abuser to deal with.
But the Britney Spears/ Kevin Federline custody bitchfight isn't all hilarious fun, you know – there's also the sticky matter of personal finances to deal with. Although the judge ruling over the custody battle hasn't decided if Britney and Kevins secrets should be exposed, court documents have been filed which show that Britney Spears is currently pulling in $737,868 a month. And you have to admit that's not such a shoddy income since Britney Spears has spent the last few years doing nothing more than pushing out accidental babies and whipping out her vagina at the drop of a hat and stumbling around covered in animal faeces. This Is London reports:
Britney Spears is raking in £370,000 a month – more than £4 million a year – despite not having had a hit song for three years. The troubled star's last big success was her 2004 Greatest Hits album and her last UK No 1 was Everytime in the same year. Spears's continued earning power, from royalties, interest on her £65million fortune and income from her perfumes Curious and Fantasy, was revealed in court documents filed in her battle against ex-husband Kevin Federline for custody of their two children.
Wait, people actually but Britney Spears's perfume? That's messed up – we thought we told that Britney's perfume smelled crappy ages ago. But it's a good job that the perfume is making all this money, because he court documents also show that Britney Spears is still paying Kevin Federline $20,000 a month, possibly so he doesn't have to give up his ridiculous dream of being taken as a serious musician instead of the cornrowed bell-end without a proper job that he actually is.
But don't forget that, however large you think Britney Spears's $737,868 monthly income is, Britney Spears is ready to make her comeback any day now, and revived interest in Britney's musical career will only increase her income. To at least $737,868.50 a month, easily.
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