Britney Spears has a long road ahead of her finding solutions to all her innumerable problems, but a quick fix might just be to get some new friends, because someone is running around blabbing to everyone that Britney Spears is bulimic and bipolar.

According to one magazine, Britney Spears' rehab stint has been hit with one unexpected problem – the pills that Britney Spears is taking to combat her recently-diagnosed bipolar disorder won't stay down because Britney Spears is claimed to be such a habitual bulimic that she keeps vomiting them all up the second she swallows them. If these claims are true, then it adds a lot of weight to the suspicion that Britney Spears wrote the hit Toxic about the smell of her sicky breath and that.

Britney Spears' loopy head-shaving breakdown was fairly unexpected when it happened, but there have been all kinds of possible explanations for it, with one newspaper suggesting that it had something to do with a crystal meth addiction and other sources claiming that Britney Spears is just suffering from a case of post-natal depression stemming from the time she gave birth to that big fat mistake. But ever since Britney Spears smashed up a car with an umbrella and went to rehab, there's been a possible new reason for all the crazy vagina-displaying weirdness – Britney Spears is apparently bipolar.  

OK, no real surprise there – if you can't be diagnosed as bipolar after writing '666' on your head with a pen, running around an expensive rehab centre loudly exclaiming yourself to be the Antichrist and then cack-handedly attempting suicide with a bedsheet, then when can you be diagnosed as bipolar? – but Britney Spears' alleged bipolar disorder has literally thrown up another Britney Spears illness – Britney Spears is apparently bulimic too, and has been for almost a decade.

OK, no real surprise there – if you can't be diagnosed as bulimic after being photographed blasting a puke tsunami into the hands of your horrified boyfriend, then when can you… oh, look, here's MSNBC on the case:

According to Star Magazine, a source claims Britney has been binging and purging since the age of 16 and it's affecting her rehab recovery. "She'd pig out on junk food — chips, candy, cola and ice cream — and then she'd feel so guilty she'd go make herself throw up," the source told Star. "The only thing that made her stop was when she got pregnant." Spear's alleged condition has made her stint in rehab difficult according to the source, who said she has been diagnosed as bipolar. "She is on medication for bipolar disorder, but the pills are not staying in her system because she is bulimic and is throwing them up before they can help her!" the source said.

So it's being claimed that Britney Spears is now bulimic and bipolar. If that's the case, then at least Britney is in the right place to overcome these problems at the moment, and she's well-positioned to get all the help she needs. But that's assuming that Britney Spears is bipolar and bulimic, of course – and we've devised a cunning test to figure it out.

Now that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are apparently back together, Kevin is giving a lot of support to Britney, and has even shaved his head in a mark of solidarity. So we say we force-feed Kevin Federline six gallons of Coca Cola and 12 litres of raspberry ripple ice cream to see if he pukes up down his clothes. If he does, he's obviously developed bulimia as a show of solidarity for Britney Spears and the stories are all indisputably true.

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Source Tells Mag Britney Is Bulimic – MSNBC