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Alex de Moller

And Away We Go…

by Alex de Moller

Think of the most boring script you could ever come up with… No? Can’t do it? Sam Mendes can. In fact, he’s made a film that just about takes the cake when it comes to mind-numbing tedium and films that make you want to die. Away We Go is about a couple of losers expecting [...]

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Clones! Computers! Surrogates!

by Alex de Moller

Have you ever looked around and thought the whole world was fake? Well it is, at least if you’re Bruce Willis. Everyone is hooked up to a robot, called a surrogate, and lives life from the comfort of a home computer. It’s a great solution to the boring trawl of the life, except one day, [...]

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Visit The Land Of The Lost!

by Alex de Moller

Will Ferrell is back for more. The master of stupidity returns to play misguided scientist Rick Marshall in a bid to break the laws of space and time. Rick claims to have discovered time travel with his Tachyon Amplifier, only to be ridiculed by scientists, the media and everyone who isn’t dog-barking mad. The amplifier [...]

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Britain’s Got Issues… Let’s Blame Entertainment

by Alex de Moller

This is Britain, can’t you see? We love reality TV… Like animals we hoot and jeer, with gobs of marmite, chips and beer… Now think of everything at stake, You’d think there were complaints to make… of scandal-ridden politicians, ID cards and gas emissions… But oh we love our talent shows, the dancing freaks that [...]

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Watch The NINE Trailer! Be Italian!

by Alex de Moller

Director Guido Contini lives a life defined by glamour, excess and the attention of a thousand beautiful women… In this Hollywood remake of the Broadway musical Nine, you’ll wonder how the Italian, played by Daniel Day Lewis, doesn’t wake up castrated… hell hath no fury, after all. Set in Venice circa 1960, the award winning [...]

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Watch The Sherlock Holmes Trailer! Elementary, My Dear Watson!

by Alex de Moller

Robert Downey Jr. is Sherlock Holmes… Our inspectors are baffled by the mystery of it: somehow, our favourite Victorian hero was mistaken for Inspector Gadget. Guy Ritchie resurrects London’s drug-reliant super-detective and ditches his deerstalker hat for ninja skills and fruity dialogue. Accompanied by Watson (Jude Law), a plot involving the occult and other destructive [...]

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Good Cop… Bad Lieutenant!

by Alex de Moller

Oh look… Nicolas Cage as another pointless womaniser with a pocketful of dope. We don’t hit women down south, but the cops smoke crack. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, has about as much purpose as a KKK race-relations meeting. Cage plays a cop who compensates for his back problems with cocaine-addiction and ‘interrogates’ [...]

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20 Weirdest Album Covers

by Alex de Moller

Music. Visions. Drugs.

Album covers can often be the aftermath of happy clappy drug abuse. You might be a boring lump of flesh in your real life, but add LSD and suddenly you’re a hero. Your ideas are original, you speak with the voice of a God and everything suddenly makes sense – at least it does to you.

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It’s Possible To Be Gay And Muslim… Even On EastEnders.

by Alex de Moller

Middle-EastEnders is probably a big hit in the Islamic Republic of Iran… The show’s writers traditionally shy away from the social taboos of go-karting, liking America or talking to women. The British however, have no such idea of tact and religious sensibility. Their version of the show often goes down like halal-packaged pork chops and [...]

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Watch The Precious Trailer! Because Life Is Precious.

by Alex de Moller

Precious is heavy… And we’re not talking about the main character, Clareece ‘Precious’ Jones.  Actress Gabourey Sidibe teams up with comedian Mo’Nique, Mariah Carey and Paula Patton to tell an urban tale of abuse, self hatred and feeling worthless. Main character Precious, is 16, illiterate and pregnant for the second time by her father. Her mother is [...]

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