The least someone deserves when they die is a swift, dignified funeral – but thanks to everyone squabbling over her body like the last Stretch Armstrong in a toy store on Christmas Eve, that's eluded Anna Nicole Smith for over three weeks now.

At the end of last week Anna Nicole Smith's body was placed in the custody of her daughter's court-appointed guardian, who ruled that Anna Nicole Smith should be buried in the Bahamas alongside her dead son as soon as possible. That ruling didn't account for Anna Nicole Smith's estranged mother Virgie Arthur, though. Virgie Arthur has taken Anna Nicole Smith's rapidly decomposing body-battle to the court of appeals to try and ensure that Anna Nicole is buried in Texas. Well, either that or she wants to hold the burial up for so long that Anna Nicole Smith's corpse dissolves completely – whichever happens first.

So much has happened since Anna Nicole Smith's death that it seems like longer than three weeks ago since she died. All of a sudden, everyone wanted a piece of her – from Anna Nicole Smith's lawyer boyfriend to Anna Nicole Smith's photographer ex-boyfriend to some old German with a shonky cock. And that's just the fight over Anna Nicole Smith's daughter – we're running betting odds on the paternity test from tomorrow, by the way – but even the fight over Anna Nicole Smith's dead body was fierce. Is fierce, we mean – it's not over yet.

After Anna Nicole Smith died, nobody could decide where to bury her. Howard K Stern wanted Anna Nicole buried in the Bahamas next to the body of her dead son Daniel, Virgie Arthur wanted Anna Nicole buried near the family home in Texas and Larry Birkhead didn't care either way so long as all the DNA could be pumped out of Anna Nicole before she was buried. Eventually Weepy Judge Boo-Hoo decided that Anna Nicole Smith would be buried in the Bahamas and that was that.

No, of course that wasn't that, you bonehead. This is Anna Nicole Smith we're talking about – we're steeling ourselves to the fact that we'll be buried before she is – and so it's no surprise that Virgie Arthur has gone to an appeals court to try and stop Anna Nicole Smith's Bahama burial, as Fox reports:

The Florida 4th District Court of Appeal is considering a petition filed Monday by the centerfold's estranged mother, Virgie Arthur, who challenged the trial court's decision last week that gave control of Smith's body to an attorney for Smith's infant daughter. The advocate for the child, Richard Milstein, and the attorney for Smith's boyfriend, Howard K. Stern, have until 2 p.m. Tuesday to respond to the challenge. The appeals court will then review all the materials and may seek oral arguments or decide the case based on briefs… Arthur wants Smith buried in her native Texas and claims Seidlin had no authority under Florida law to grant custody of Smith's body to the little girl's guardian. Arthur is the only "legally recognized person authorized to make the ultimate decision" about her daughter's remains, the petition filed Monday said.

Don't worry if you think that the three Florida appeals judges will quickly overturn Virgie Arthur's case and allow Anna Nicole Smith the quick burial she deserves – Arthur's lawyers have made it clear that they're ready to take the petition right up to the state Supreme Court if they need to.

Of course, by that time Dannielynn Hope will have grown up, taken her first steps, spoken her first words and completed a first-class masters degree at law school, so she'll be able to sort this mess out herself.

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Appeals Court To Consider Smith Burial – Fox