The recent history of Anna Nicole Smith has been in turn amusing, happy, tragic, creepy, sad again and then confusingly weird. Now the weird paternity squabble over Anna Nicole Smith's new baby is just annoying.
Up until recently, everyone was under the impression that Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynn Hope was the product of the apparently deep love between Anna Nicole Smith and her lawyer Howard K Stern. Not so, says Anna's ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead, who says that the
mealticket to all those dead magnate's billions baby girl is his, and he's demanding a paternity test to make it official. And while he's at, he wants everyone tested for drugs too, damnit!
Anna Nicole Smith has had a weird old life, hasn't she? She's had her own reality TV show and her own almost-dead octogenarian billionaire husband who she loved so much that she was willing to go to the US Supreme Court to fight for his cash and she still had time to take all her clothes off and get filmed biting on a maid's nipple in a bathtub for cash. Quite how she managed squeeze in teasing the world about her pregnancy is beyond us.
Sadly though, events on the peripheries of Anna Nicole Smith's life look set to overcome the two biggest events of her recent life; the birth of her daughter and the death of her son. The interest in Daniel Smith's death looks to be over and done with – it was the antidepressants and the methadone that did it – but the interest in baby Dannielynn Hope is just getting started. Anna Nicole Smith's lawyer Howard K Stern says that he's the father of the baby, and he and Anna love each other enough to not quite get married, but now Anna Nicole Smith's ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead has formally entered the battle too.
Yesterday Larry Birkhead filed a lawsuit demanding that Anna Nicole Smith return to California with Dannielynn Hope for a paternity test. According to E! Online:
Birkhead's lawsuit contains some very "damning" allegations, including the claim that Smith was taking methadone and that her attorney and, as it turns out, love interest, Howard K. Stern, has been facilitating her habit. Smith's ex also accused her of fleeing to the Bahamas to have her baby to avoid being tested for drugs. Birkhead further alleged that Stern is claiming that he is Dannielynn's father for his own financial gain – and that Smith had asked a third man to claim he was the father of her child, only the plan didn't work out because the man in question had already had a vasectomy.
On top of this weirdness, Larry Birkhead is claiming full legal and physical custody of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, plus he wants both Anna Nicole Smith and Dannielynn Hope to be given full drugs tests.
So who is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter? Who knows for sure, but if we were that maid whose nipple Anna Nicole Smith was chewing on in that old video, we'd slip a paternity suit in just for the hell of it too.
[story by Stuart Heritage]