Last night American Idol lost one of its biggest personalities, by which we mean one of its stupidest haircuts.
We barely knew Scott MacIntyre. Well, we knew that he was legally blind and that, as such, the American Idol producers liked to get their kicks by squeezing him into bright pink trousers and cutting his hair into bizarre curly shrines to golden era David Hasselhoff. And isn’t that enough?
Oh, and we also knew that Scott MacIntyre couldn’t sing very well, otherwise he’d have done better at American Idol. Or maybe America just hates the blind. Yes, that’s probably it.
Usually on American Idol all the excitement comes from the results show, with the preceding show – you know, the one where everybody actually sings – feeling a lot like a bizarre new version of Chinese water torture where the water sounds like an interminable off-key power ballad cabaret. But this week the opposite happened.
All the drama happened on Tuesday night’s American Idol, where Adam Lambert sang a miserable song under enough lights to destroy all the remaining polar bears and Simon Cowell stood up at the end. Do you know what that means? Simon Cowell never stands up unassisted – the weight of his colossal manboobs are usually enough to send him toppling to the floor like a pub drunk every time he attempts to support himself on two feet.
Honestly, watching Adam Lambert bring Simon Cowell to his feet was like watching Jesus heal a cripple. Except, you know, the part of the cripple was played by a fully-abled smug millionaire with ridiculous teeth and the part of Jesus was played by Bad Spider-Man. Other than that, it was dead-on.
But that’s beside the point. What we’re trying to say is this – after the drama of Tuesday’s American Idol, last night’s dispatching of Scott MacIntyre had a weird formality to it. Everyone knew that Scott MacIntrye was rubbish, so nobody was surprised to see him go. Except for half of the American Idol judges, of course, who decided to string Scott’s execution out by toying with that stupid bloody gimmick of theirs. Reuters reports:
The 23-year-old man from Scottsdale, Arizona, who is legally blind, was eliminated after four judges split on whether to use their once-per-season veto power to keep him in the running. This is really tough,” Simon Cowell said at the end of the live broadcast before finally declaring: “Someone’s got to make a decision here, and I’m going to say it’s the end of the competition. Sorry.”
But just because Scott MacIntyre is gone, to join the likes of Megan Joy and Alexis Grace and that funny monobrow bloke whose name we can’t remember, it doesn’t mean that he’s forgotten. Scott MacIntyre will always be remembered for his pink trousers and terrible haircut. Not his singing, though. We’re not animals.
Also, Scott MacIntyre can leave American Idol with the knowledge that Paula Abdul called him an inspiration. At least we assume that she was trying to say ‘inspiration’. This is Paula Abdul we’re talking about, so what actually came out was a mixture of gurgling and unconnected vowel sounds. But still, well done nevertheless Scott.
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Dyefreaklive says
LOOOL.
How terribly evil…..yet how fantastically genuis!