Well, that whole ‘predetermined American Idol top four’ thing turned out to be blindingly accurate, didn’t it?
Just look at Alexis Grace. According to reports, Alexis Grace was going to be one of the last four contestants on American Idol. But that probably won’t happen any more, because last night Alexis Grace got voted off American Idol.
This means that Lil Rounds, Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert also aren’t as safe as they think they are. Especially Lambert, because his voice sounds like a malfunctioning pungi and it’s only a matter of time before he’s attacked by a venomous snake.
Nobody is safe on American Idol. Nobody at all. The judges aren’t safe, because every couple of weeks they’ll turn on each other like angry dogs. The viewers aren’t safe, because every time they sit down to enjoy a jaunty cover of Ring Of Fire they’re presented with the retina-scarring image of a man who looks like a leathery past-his-prime vampire rentboy performing what appears to be the soundtrack to a porno remake of Ali Baba And The Forty Theives.
And the American Idol contestants certainly aren’t safe. This was proved last night when Alexis Grace, one of the favourites to win the entire show, got voted off. People has more:
Favorite Alexis Grace, 21, wound up being the contestant destined to go home, thanks no doubt to an uncharacteristically strident performance of Dolly Parton’s ?Jolene? on Tuesday. Because of the newly instituted Judges? Save rule ? and because the Mighty Four have always liked her so much ? Alexis was permitted to sing an encore as Randy, Simon, Paula and Kara huddled together and discussed her fate.
But it wasn’t to be. No amount of confusingly elaborate fan-cheating rules designed expressly to rig the American Idol final could save Alexis Grace from elimination. So what went wrong? We’ve boiled it down to a few options:
1 – Maybe Alexis Grace just wasn’t as popular as everyone thought she was.
2 – Maybe, in an American Idol season featuring a widower, a blind man and – most tragically of all – a fat bloke with ginger hair, Alexis Grace just didn’t have a winningly tragic backstory. You can try and cover it up by sometimes wearing a hat, Alexis, but that’s not going to make us think that you’ve got leukaemia.
3 – There’s already an American Idol contestant named Megan Joy. If you have a contestant with the surname Joy and a contestant with the surname Grace, there’s a disgustingly high probability that they’ll end up forming an evangelical Christian folk duo, and the public knew they had to stop this no matter what the cost.
4 – Maybe it’s because, in her American Idol publicity photograph, Alexis Grace is sitting with her legs so far apart that it looks like she’s got an abrasive case of terminal thrush.
Or maybe it was just that she wasn’t very good last night. Either way, well done America. Lambert next, please.
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Cole Nesmith says
I quite enjoyed Adam actually, although his redention of Ring of Fire was terrible, and Johnny Cash probably rolled over in his grave, I think he’s going to be around for awhile. He is obviously gay, but still has sex appeal that makes women jump. He is unique and does everything in his own way, he hits his notes, he is trendy, and he is a rockstar.
Joe Metro says
Adam is horrible is that sound suppose to come out of a humans mouth? I dont think he is gay I think he is in love with himself. Does that make you gay?Anyway, This just tells me that I should not be watching this show. Cute girls that can sing should stay and creepy guys should go.
donits says
lol u’r analysis is sooo funny
Tina says
Adam is gay – (read articles on his biography outside of American Idol) but the man has a vocal range MOST professional artists would die for! Just like MANY artists today – there are certain songs they can’t even begin to sing exceptionally well. Ring of Fire was one for Adam. However, this certainly does not justify his TRUE vocal abilities! The man has a PHENOMENAL voice!! I know I wish I could have that many ranges and sing just about anything! : )
Amy says
Adam is gay. Who cares. Idols had it’s share of gay contestants already. One went on to the finals. Clay Aiken. Remember him? Sexual orientation aside – Adam is sexy as hell. Can he sing? Absolutely. Does he make the songs his own. Yes!! Isn’t that what Idol is about? Didn’t David Cook do that last season? And he was raved about. Adam will be the next American Idol! Go Adam! You sexy thang. ;)
KT says
I HATE MEGAN JOY! Oh my gosh I wish they would boot her. I don’t care if she was sick the last show her performance was horrific! She is trying to do like 12 different voices in her singing that just DO NOT WORK!
simm says
Is Paula Abdul clinically brain dead? Simon is so full of himself and sh*t. So manyly of him to request a different seat because of the lighting.
Kara is well-known as a bitch in her industry and she let it slips out on national television. Randy is a good dude.
Blind guy is a good guy but mediocre singer. 16 year old girl has talent but is getting boring now with that Joan Jett crap. Megan is hot, unique, and seems genuine but doubt she can hang in there. Big blue collar guy seems nice but what a boring singer.Adam is just too freaky. Gay or not, his facial expressions makes me cringe and look away..and I’m gay! ok, boring myself, now. My guess… dude with glasses who lost his wife will win. Great voice.
coffee says
ahh, I miss Alexis Grace already, she did an awesome rendition of that Dolly Parton song
Herve Leger Blog says
that ancient chinese gives the song a legendary feeling lol, well done