Another day, another pile of near-paedophillic crap comes spewing our way – it’s Ali Lohan’s turn again today.
There seems to be an endless stream of reports flowing out in recent months, all concerning subjects that are – not that we place ourselves as moral crusaders, but – inappropriate for the young girls they are talking about.
We’ve had the three thousand stories about 15-year-old Miley Cyrus and her penchant for getting nude and making everyone feel a bit ill, and now it’s time for Lindsay Lohan‘s sister, Ali, to take the brunt of the press’ speculation about whether or not she’s had surgical enhancements.
Oh, did we mention she’s a 14-year-old girl who is barely in the public eye? The same 14-year-old girl who caused a frenzy by auditioning for [a man who used to direct] porn, in a film that was [not] porn?
Yes, she’s that one.
But fortunately this time we have an ally in the fight against all that is a bit weird in the world of the celebrity press – she who is on a quest for all that is good and right in the world, the mighty Lindsay Lohan.
If this were a year or two back, that would be a pretty daft statement to make, as Lindsay would probably be naked, upside down, coated in smack and/or booze and speaking in tongues to the legions of paparazzi around her, but not now.
Now we have what appears to be a newly lesbianised Lindsay in a stable relationship, clean and set for marriage – in fact, the last bad thing she did was offend her dad by accident.
And frankly, that’s not that bad a thing.
The newly-crowned heroine of all that is good, clean and right on the planet decided to set the world to rights through the mightiest of media powers – her MySpace page. Obviously this would normally be reserved for telling the world about her most recent car crash, drunken bust-up or non-stop nude-o-rama, but the once-amazing-now-boring 22-year-old is now using the powers of the Murdoch empire to cure the many ills of society.
Starting with her young sister’s body.
Lindsay, writing on her MySpace blog, wrote these words (and far too many exclamation marks):
“i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach. so, here’s the visual…two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me…one of them being, ‘Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?’ WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Continuing the fight for all that is right on the planet earth, Lindsay followed her incredulity with a witty snap back at the pro-snapper, as her blog continued:
“‘Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!”
See – we told you she was fighting on hecklerspray‘s side.
Now we just wait on the news to come out that Ali Lohan actually has had surgery – it’s not like it’s beyond the realms of rational thought, what with Dina being involved somewhere along the lines.