Hear that? It’s the sound of all the cars in the world pulling to one side in case Lindsay Lohan decides to drunkenly zoom about like a crazy woman again.
It’s a possibility if recent reports suggesting that Lindsay Lohan is back drinking again are to be believed. According to several sources, Lindsay Lohan was seen out in New York last weekend necking cocktails, smoking cigarettes and screeching at one of the Olsen twins to stay away from her ‘girlfriend’ Samantha Ronson.
Oh Lindsay, it’s so good to have you back. Your cocaine-filled trousers are pressed and waiting for you, and Calum Best has his camera phone primed in case you want to perform any more sex acts on him. Remember – you’re a celebrity, so you can do whatever the fuck you want.
A sober Lindsay Lohan isn’t exactly boring – unless you count naked photoshoots, alleged sex tapes and endless oblivious conversations about herself boring, of course – but she’s really not a patch on hammered Lindsay Lohan.
You know, the Lindsay Lohan who’ll collapse on film sets. The Lindsay Lohan who spends her entire life in rehab. The Lindsay Lohan who’s basically completely uninsurable and therefore unlikely to ever be taken seriously as an actress again. She’s brilliant.
And, what’s more, she’s back. It’s been reported that Lindsay Lohan was seen falling off the wagon to spectacular effect in New York on Friday night, and this time we’re told that her drunken antics involved yelling “Get your 15-year-old ‘Full House’ ass away from my girlfriend,” at one of the Olsen sisters. According to People:
The actress – who completed a stint in Cirque Lodge rehab last September – is raising eyebrows again after she was spotted on Saturday drinking Grey Goose and Red Bull cocktails at a party deejayed by pal Samantha Ronson. Lohan, 21, smoked cigarettes, chatted with friends and hit the dance floor at Hawaiian Tropic Zone in New York as Ronson spun tunes until 4 a.m.
Samantha Ronson, by the way, is the woman who sparked Lindsay Lohan’s ‘girlfriend’ rant. Over to Page Six:
Saturday, Lohan said Ronson “was ignoring her” and became upset. “Samantha was really focused on her work and didn’t leave the booth for anything,” said our spy. Lindsay is so into her pal, she’s even created a Facebook profile under “Lindsay Ronson.”
Lindsay Ronson? Really? Isn’t that the sort of thing that twelve-year-old girls write on their schoolbooks when they like a boy? We can’t see this Samantha Ronson infatuation lasting with Lindsay Lohan, though – notice the Facebook name is ‘Lindsay Ronson’ and not ‘Lindsay Ronson IDST 4 EVA’.
Anyway, this isn’t the first time that Lindsay Lohan has an alcoholic relapse – back in January she was filmed swigging out of a champagne bottle, an incident which caused her to immediately seek help again. Maybe the same thing will happen now that Lindsay’s started to drink again.
Anyway, if a bit of booze means that Lindsay Lohan’s Year Of Sex now includes women as well as men, then so be it. Let’s just hope that she doesn’t go near the drugs again, because with men and women struck off the sex list, that basically just leaves animals. Those poor, poor animals.
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mst3kster says
I was hoping Lindsay would be back on the bottle. And by on the bottle, I mean using it as a dildo.