Because now Dina Lohan is a star in her own right. Not a film star or a music star like Lindsay Lohan is, though, it's even better than that – Dina Lohan is going to be become a reality TV star.
E! has finally announced the production of Dina Lohan reality TV show Living Lohan. It's a wake-up call for all parents really – if you constantly push your young children into a life of showbiz until they eventually crack and become drug-addled, rehab-addicted global jokes, then maybe you can be like Dina Lohan and get a shitty reality TV show that hardly anyone's going to watch anyway too. Live the dream, parents!
Although she's made it her business to dine on the flesh of Lindsay Lohan, Dina Lohan is a star in her own right. She just never had the breaks. That's why, almost from the second that she gave birth, Dina Lohan started training Lindsay Lohan to be the singer and actress superstar extraordinaire that she never was.
But now that Lindsay Lohan's career has hit the skids in a frenzy of arrests and stints in rehab and awful movie choices and desperate nudity, it's time for Dina Lohan to slam Plan B into action. That's right, Dina Lohan always knew that she'd eventually push Lindsay to the brink of self-destruction, so she gave birth to a back-up Lohan just in case.
And this Plan B back-up Lohan is going to form the basis of new E! reality show Living Lohan, which is going to be broadcast this summer. MSNBC reports:
The show, tentatively titled “Living Lohan,” will take viewers inside the Lohans’ Long Island home to follow Dina as she works double duty as mom and manager for Ali’s blossoming singing/acting career. “The Lohans are one of the most intriguing families in the entertainment industry today,” Lisa Berger of E! said. “This is a family that knows how to roll with the punches and come out on top. Dina is an incredibly hard-working, passionate mom that I think our viewers will find both relatable and highly entertaining.”
Finally! A show that will teach us how Dina Lohan managed to raise Lindsay to be such a well-rounded, normal, non-attention-seeking non-arsehole. And what's more, it looks like we'll get to see all of these spellbinding techniques repeated again on another one of Dina Lohan's young children. Maybe, if we're lucky, the Living Lohan cameras will be there when Ali Lohan's mind snaps under the pressure and she starts sleeping with strangers in an attempt to paper over the insecurities and low self-esteem issues that her pushy mother and successful sister have forced onto her. Here's hoping!
Don't start checking the TV listings for Living Lohan yet, though, because a) it's not on for a few months and b) it might not even be called Living Lohan when it's broadcast. The title might get changed to something a little more honest, like Watch This Show About The Pointless Old Lady For Long Enough And You Might See Lindsay Lohan Acting Weird For A Couple Of Seconds. Or something.