Who knew that a little innocent muff-diving could lead to throat cancer? Well, it can, according to cancer survivor and oral sexpert,?Michael Douglas. In an?interview?published yesterday by?The Guardian, Dr. Michael explained that his life-threatening bout with cancer was not caused by a nasty habit like smoking, but by?his selfless oral pleasuring of a female partner …?specifically,?eating out a?chick with HPV.
I think we can all agree that the idea of Michael Douglas performing the lingus?is nauseating, but put aside your own dry heaves for a moment?and just imagine how poorly his lovely wife, Catherine Zeta Jones, must be feeling.
Fresh out of treatment for?bipolar disorder, her husband publicly declares: “Hey World! My Academy Award-winning wife has an STD! And not just that … she passed that filthy shit on to me and nearly killed me!” She is, undoubtedly, pretty pleased with him.