Who knew that a little innocent muff-diving could lead to throat cancer? Well, it can, according to cancer survivor and oral sexpert,?Michael Douglas. In an?interview?published yesterday by?The Guardian, Dr. Michael explained that his life-threatening bout with cancer was not caused by a nasty habit like smoking, but by?his selfless oral pleasuring of a female partner …?specifically,?eating out a?chick with HPV.
I think we can all agree that the idea of Michael Douglas performing the lingus?is nauseating, but put aside your own dry heaves for a moment?and just imagine how poorly his lovely wife, Catherine Zeta Jones, must be feeling.
Fresh out of treatment for?bipolar disorder, her husband publicly declares: “Hey World! My Academy Award-winning wife has an STD! And not just that … she passed that filthy shit on to me and nearly killed me!” She is, undoubtedly, pretty pleased with him.
Yes, celebrities going public with medical issues can be heroic and inspirational. Angelina is the?obvious example. And hopefully this new info potentially?linking HPV and certain forms of oral cancer will encourage some changes in behavior … by which I mean?women getting HPV vaccines, not, and I stress NOT,?a reduction in going down.
Michael also offered some crack medical advice on how to cure his particular type of cancer.
“It’s a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it.”
Perhaps he means morale-wise, because apparently that isn’t even the slightest bit medically accurate.
Vic says
Yeah, what a slime-ball…and known as having a self-confessed sexual addiction for which he sought treatment. So, who is to say where /or from whom he contracted the HPV virus, as well as the fact that HE could have passed it on to Catherine himself. It can take years for oral cancer to develop to the degree that suspicious pathology would catch the attention of a Dentist.
I did not read anywhere that he actually “accused” CZJ as infecting him, but if so, it is complete bull-shit. Being old enough to be her father, he’d had sex with hundreds of women by the time he even met her. And if he DID attribute it to her, he is detestable and just wanting to humiliate her.