As an absentee father and ex-convict, Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael Lohan doesn’t get to take the moral high ground all that often.
But sometimes it happens, and it sure is sweet when it does. For instance, now that his ex-wife Dina Lohan can be seen distastefully pimping out her 14-year-old daughter Ali for cash in the reality TV show Living Lohan every week, Michael has voiced his concerns about the exploitation and hypocrisy on show in a new blog specifically about Living Lohan on OK! magazine’s website.
Slagging off your ex-wife and teenage daughter in public for a fee? That certainly sounds like the moral high ground to us. Michael Lohan, you truly are an inspiration to us all.
Michael Lohan has always been there for his family. OK, not always – he wasn’t there for his family that time he went to prison for ages, or when Ali Lohan accused him of being an absentee father during the bulk of her upbringing, or whenever Lindsay Lohan decided to write a song about what a shit dad he was because he never loved her – but mostly. Or hardly. Hardly.
However, Michael Lohan found God in prison – apparently He was doing a 20-stretch for aggravated assault – and he’s since made it his duty to always do what’s best for his family. That means being the only man on the planet not to see what Lindsay Lohan looks like naked, being unafraid to tell the press about Lindsay’s alleged Oxycontin addiction and undoing several years of systematic parental neglect with a weekend in a wooden house.
So with this in mind, Michael Lohan can’t be expected to just sit idly by while his ex-wife Dina Lohan and daughter Ali Lohan whore themselves out in a grubby reality TV show that indirectly makes a mockery of them both. At least not when he’s being paid by a magazine to say how stupid they are.
That’s right – Michael Lohan has become the latest Lohan family member to try and cash in on his eldest daughter’s notoriety. Not by directly feeding off it like Dina and Ali Lohan, but by feeding off the TV show that Dina and Ali Lohan feed off Lindsay Lohan’s notoriety with. In short, Michael Lohan’s been employed by OK! magazine to keep a blog of what exactly he thinks about Living Lohan. MSNBC reports:
Regarding the premiere episode, titled “Mommy Will Fix It,” which aired on Memorial Day, Michael appears to take the high road and edit himself more than he has in the past. “If I were to look at things from a worldly perspective, I would probably have a lot to say about exploitation, hypocrisy and even deception,” he told the magazine. “I will say that some of the people Dina surrounds the kids with still concerns me again, I can address that when they appear on the show. I just hope Dina takes the high road like a Lohan would and rights these wrongs.”
Yes, Dina, you heard him. You need to take the high road like a Lohan would. Except not Lindsay Lohan, obviously, the recovering alcoholic who’s been in jail for driving repeatedly under the influence of drugs or alcohol. And not Michael Lohan, either, who’s also been to jail for crashing his car drunk amid a swirl of aggravated harassment, criminal contempt and attempted assault charges.
But one of the other Lohans. The unrelated Irish folk singer Sinead Lohan, maybe. Dina should totally take the high road like her.
euclid says
So Mr. Lindsay-Dad found God in prison.
A lot of people do, which makes me wonder why God
spends all His time hanging out in prisons.
Is He in for life or something? A recidivist of unequalled dimension?
A Great Boiling Dickhead of a perp? Can’t He do anything right?
First he makes us in His image. But we all look different. Nice going.
Then, he publishes a hateful book filled with contradictions
and tells everyone this is It. Believe it or burn forever, so we go running
around killing each other, saying “No! He looks more like ME!” [plersh]
(“plersh” is the sound of a sword going in, in case you didn’t know)
Good going God. Do us all a favor, wouldja? Come back, so we can see if you
look more like Timothy Dalton, Vanessa Redgrave, Venus Williams,
Gary Coleman, Milton from Office Space, Prince Faisal or Chiang Kai Chek.
Just seeing Your face might help straighten a few things out, but if you can’t
manage that (for religious reasons, or something) at least send as a card?
Ta.
gir says
You take the high road, and I’ll take your wallet.
euclid says
gir! Are you a cleric?
gir says
And I’ll be in Scotland afore ye, thanks to the first-class airline ticket I purchased with your American Express card.
Gilbert Wham says
First-class travel is no way to prepare yourself for the rigors of Scotland, bucko.
gir says
Where the hell else will I get free scotch for nine hours? You better think this through.
Gilbert Wham says
An eleven-hour coach ride and some stolen Buckfast is still going to be more apposite.
gir says
Might as well enjoy myself while I can then.
Don’t shit on my grand larceny, Gilbert.