Michael Lohan: ‘Look At Lindsay Lohan’s Naked Boobs? Bleurgh, No!’

Lindsay Lohan naked photoshoot Michael Lohan disgusted fatherWith the world still carping on about Lindsay Lohan's naked photoshoot as if it'd never seen a set of blazing red pubes before, it's nice to hear the occasional voice of dissent.

And that voice of dissent happens to come from Lindsay Lohan's Dad. Michael Lohan is steadfastly refusing to look at the naked Lindsay Lohan spread out of a sense of vague disgust, you see.

Not disgust that his daughter has become nothing more than a cheap sexual commodity, though – Michael Lohan is annoyed that Lindsay Lohan's naked photoshoot has stepped on the toes of his own naked photoshoot; the forthcoming Michael Lohan Presents Anna Nicole Smith, We Hardly Knew Ye for Total Sudoku magazine.

The statistics surrounding New York magazine's naked Lindsay Lohan photoshoot this week are simply phenomenal. Demand to see what Lindsay Lohan's hooters look like was so high that the New York website crashed. The lack of self-awareness displayed when Lindsay Lohan complained about the pitfalls of the entertainment industry from the front cover of a magazine with her tits out exploded up to 12 supercomputers running complicated logic programs. And it probably turned quite a lot of young men gay, too.

Despite this, allies of the Lindsay Lohan naked photoshoot have been vociferous in their support of Lindsay Lohan's slow slide into grubby erotic thriller-based semi-obscurity. Even Lindsay Lohan's mother loves staring at her naked daughter enough to tell the world about it. As far as Dina Lohan is concerned naked Lindsay is art, not porn.

However, Lindsay Lohan's father Michael Lohan – probably best-known for regularly listing all the drugs that Lindsay Lohan is hooked on – doesn't care if it's art or porn – he just doesn't want to look at the naked Lindsay Lohan photoshoot in case it gives him a funny feeling in his stomach. Or something. Stuff reports:

Michael Lohan is determined not to see the pictures of 21-year-old Lindsay in the new issue of New York magazine, but accepts it was "her decision" to agree to the shoot. He said: "I'm not going to look at the photos – that's my daughter! But Lindsay is an adult, and she knows the direction she wants to take her career. It's her decision." However, Michael did recognise that being asked to recreate Bert Stern's famous 'Last Sitting' photos of Marilyn was a huge honour for Lindsay… "The fact that the photographer Bert Stern who did Marilyn Monroe's pictures would ask Lindsay to re-create them – that's an amazing thing."

To some degree, Michael Lohan does have a point – as much of an honour as it is for Bert Stern to ask his daughter to recreate such iconic photographs, the naked Lindsay Lohan spread does represent the point in Lindsay's career where she's become so desperate to claw back some of her early success that she's prepared to debase herself in public in such an ultimately tragic way.

Plus Michael Lohan is probably just bummed that Scarlett Johansson didn't do the naked photoshoot. Her tits are way nicer.

Read more:

Lohan's dad won't look at nude Monroe pics – Stuff 


  1. mst3kster says

    Very smart of Mr. Lohan to do the Anna Nicole photoshoot. This way he won’t have to duct tape his wee-wee to his ass.

  2. Dallas says

    >New Yorker magazine’s naked Lindsay Lohan photoshoot

    >the New Yorker website crashed

    It’s NEW YORK magazine, not THE NEW YORKER!

    Pick up the New Yorker and all you’ll find are smugly superior cartoons, not the “blazing red pubes” you so desperately crave.

    Just trying to save you lads from bitter disappointment, is all.