You know Katherine Heigl, the mouthy one from Knocked Up and Grey's Anatomy? You want her to be your girlfriend. You do.
You want Katherine Heigl to be your girlfriend because an AskMen.com survey has declared that Katherine Heigl is the most desirable woman on the planet and, as a man, it's the law to want her all to yourself.
And, you know, even if you're not a man you probably want Katherine Heigl to be your girlfriend as well. We're open-minded people, so we understand if you girls want a piece of Katherine Heigl too. Our only request is, if that should ever happen, that you film it and send us a copy. For research purposes. There's nothing funny about it.
The annual AskMen Most Desirable Woman survey has turned into quite the cultural barometer of what qualities men look for when they're choosing a girlfriend. For example, in the year 2150 our ancestors will look back to 2006, see that Jessica Alba was the most desirable women and understand that tight little stomachs, non-specific dimness and a refusal to ever get naked was what men looked for in a woman. And they'll see that in 2007 Beyonce was the most desirable woman, signifying that back then men liked their women with wiggly bums and smashed-up faces.
But what about 2008? What is it than men like now? Well, according to the results of this year's AskMen survey, men like really outspoken women who chainsmoke and actually seem like they'd be quite annoying if you ever met them. Because this year the winner of the AskMen Most Desirable Woman survey is Katherine Heigl, the woman who was in Knocked Up and then slagged Knocked Up off and helped fan the flames of that whole Isaiah Washington homophobia kerfuffle last year. According to Reuters:
Superlatives keep piling up for actress Katherine Heigl who on Thursday was named the "most desirable woman of 2008" by lifestyle Web site, AskMen.com. The site, which boasts seven million readers a month, said it polls users annually for a list of 99 women who best embody the qualities of an ideal girlfriend or wife, as judged by intelligence, humor, charisma and ambition among attributes. "This year's list really goes to show who (our users) relate with and find beautiful, charming and personable," said AskMen.com's editor-in-chief, James Bassil.
Remember, readers weren't voting for the sexiest woman, or the most beautiful. They were voting for their ideal girlfriend. So, on that basis we can guess that Katherine Heigl doesn't keep yipping on when you're trying to watch TV, or take two identical dresses into a clothes store changing room and then ask you which one you prefer, and also thinks it's actually quite cool when you pile rubbish in a mound on top of the bin instead of just change the bin bag.
And, if that's all true then Katherine Heigl is certainly the best girlfriend in the world.
The runners up in the AskMen Most Ideal Woman survey were Alessandra Ambrosio, Kate Beckinsdale, Eva Mendes, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel, Rihanna, Marisa Miller and Adriana Lima. So obviously if Katherine Heigl is out of your league, there's always Adriana Lima.
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gir says
Frankly, I’d rather have Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, who, despite his obvious ontological shortcomings, seems like he could walk and chew gum at the same time. After all, the Hegelian dialectic is one of the most important descriptions and expositions of human thought.
And what has Katherine Heigl done? Married a kind of chubby guy in a movie. Pfft.