Vanessa Hugens knows that the best way to get on in life is to find something you’re good and stick to it.
Luckily, she’s found something she’s great at. Acting? No. Singing? Come on, the girl sounds like a bad Britney Spears impersonator being mauled by feral street cats. No, Vanessa Hudgens is great at taking naked photos of herself that somehow find their way onto the internet. And, by christ, she’s sticking to it.
Just two years after her last naked picture scandal, a new batch of naked Vanessa Hudgens photos have hit the internet. She’s growing artistically, people.
The thing about High School Musical, as we’re sure you’ve already worked out, is that it just wasn’t very realistic. Everyone was academically dedicated and were characterised by their constant efforts to become better people. That’s not high school. There were no arson attacks. Teachers didn’t keel over from stress-related heart attacks midway through lessons. The majority of students didn’t leave unqualified to become manual labourers. And, ridiculously, none of the female students posted naked photos of themselves on the internet due to their inherent lack of self-esteem.
At least not in the movie. Because in real life Vanessa Hudgens was all over that crap.
You’ll remember the last set of naked Vanessa Hudgens photos, of course. It was a scandal that nearly got her fired from High School Musical 3 while simultaneously paving the way for the likes of Miley Cyrus to take some risque internet photos of her own. And, knowing that they brought her within a whisker of losing her career forever, Vanessa Hudgens vowed never to take naked photos of herself ever agai…
Oh, hang on, no. Scrap that, she’s at it again. Today the internet is awash with a brand new set of naked Vanessa Hudgens photos, all taken on her mobile phone. The official word from Vanessa’s publicist is that there’s nothing new about the photos, and that Vanessa took them during her flurry of naked curiosity a few years ago. But that hardly matters, because the newly-released naked Vanessa Hudgens photos – which can be seen online at, oh, The Huffington Post? Really? – show a dramatic leap forward in terms of visual aesthetic.
The last photos depicting Vanessa Hudgens naked were sort of boring – a full-frontal here, a cheap pseudo-lesbian kiss there – but this new batch show a rapid, almost superhuman, artistic progression. In the new set are photos of:
– Vanessa Hudgens topless in a tiny gold pair of shorts with a finger in her mouth.
– Vanessa Hudgens in her underwear, pulling the top of her knickers down.
– A soft focus Vanessa Hudgens cleavage shot.
– A picture of Vanessa Hudgens in a bikini on the beach, pulling a kissy face and pointing to a Zac Efron badge that she’s stuck on her tit.
That last one’s our favourite. But will people care about these new pictures of Vanessa Hudgens larking about in the nude? No, of course they won’t – Vanessa has already stated her intention to get naked in a movie soon and, besides, we were already starting to get bored of looking at her tits anyway.
So don’t expect these new naked photos of Vanessa Hudgens to stir up much of a scandal. No, that’ll come when she gets videoed manually pleasuring a labrador, which by our calculations should happen sometime before Christmas.
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em says
This article is incredibly immature and speaks to me alot about the kind of person you are. You should have some respect for people. She’s human, these pictures are old, get over it. I’m sorry that you feel by writing this it will be the only way you can get so hits on this site. I hope you’re proud that this is what you consider work.
Kellie says
Really? Are people really going to go crazy now over this? So what… These are when she was 16… they just weren’t leaked in 2006… I don’t get why people are out to get her? All I know is that I’m a hard core fan of her. So she took a few photos that weren’t supposed to be leaked out to the public… everyone does that in they’re life. In 2006 many people bashed her because of this and I was thinking… she does one thing wrong and she loses alot of fans but other celebrities, say Lindsey Lohan and Brittney Spears, do a lot of things wrong but they have all the fans in the world… I just don’t get it. All I know is that I’m still going to be a fan of her… no matter what.
Julia says
Sorry Stu, but her legal team is saying that the pics were taken when she was underage, making them child pornography. Glad you didn’t leak to the NSFW.
Is it me? says
Does anyone else tend to hear American accents in their heads whenever they read a post condemning a Hecklerspray article? Whiny accents at that.
mst3kster says
What the hell are “American accents”? There’s so damn many of them.
shooty* says
True dat.
Kaylee. says
“These weren’t ment to be leaked”
Oh.
Oh.
Oh!
OH!
Ha!
OHKAY THEN!
Oh, by the way, she’s doing a round of interviews publicising some shit new movie in America. On the same week these new pictures came out! What are the chances, eh?
…But on a serious note, she has less sex appeal than a Jack Russell. And we all know Labradors are the sexiest dogs.
Sean Mac says
Did someone just say they where a hardcore fan of hers? and they`re actually allowed access to the internet?
Mariah says
I agree wholeheartedly with this article. Is it harsh? Hell yes…but every bit of it is true. Sometimes being blunt is a nice breath of fresh air, don’t you think? And I am an American, and 17 at that. Vanessa Hudgens isn’t talented, and is exactly like Britney Spears and all those other it girls, except she has black hair. The argument that says she lost the majority of her fans from one incident while Britney kept all of hers is complete bullshit. Does no remember the press chewing up Brit with her shaved head photos? Because I certainly do and I’m not a fan of hers either. The truth is, none of these girls have talent….and I know it’s sad to say. They all so publicity stunts like this, and it shouldn’t get much press if anyone with intelligence is reading about it. She took the photos of herself and put them on her computer, knowing she previously had a scandal. That’s just dumb and asking for trouble. The first time, yeah maybe it was an accident, I feel sorry for her. But the second time, where it looks in the photos as if she’s thought about the aesthetics, not so much. Sorry Vanessa Hudgens, but no amount of nudity is going to get me to see your new movie.
mst3kster says
Not only allowed access to the internet, Sean Mac, but allowed to live as well.
UNDERTAKEr says
The girl need is some education,
Robyn says
Haha, I thought it was just me! Definitely. The blustering comments from wound up teenage Yanks are the best part of Hecklerspray ;)
advice dog says
cool story bro. too bad nobody cares
A wanker Yank says
I’m a hardcore fan of hers… I mean I’m a fan of her hardcore.
carl says
im jacking off to her right now fuck me in the ass mother fucker
vanessa hudgens says
It wasn’t me… I swear! ;)