Vanessa Hudgens is a whore. We’ve avoided saying that in the past for fear of legal action, but she is.

Vanessa Hudgens is a whore. Come on, say it with us. It’s fun – Vanessa Hudgens is a whore. Apparently we should point out that Vanessa Hudgens isn’t an actual whore, and that she’s only going to be playing one in a film – which sort of spoils the fun if you ask us – but, hey, at least this means you’ll finally get to see what Vanessa Hudgens looks like naked.

Pardon? You’ve already seen Vanessa Hudgens naked? Everyone has? OH FINE THEN.

The High School Musical movies were a phenomenon for one specific reason – they showed the youth of today that, with bit of application and the knowledge that your friends will always be there for you, anyone can achieve their dream of running around with their norks out in a low-rent film about hookers. Why, just look at dear old Vanessa Hudgens, for example.

Since High School Musical 3 wrapped, Vanessa Hudgens has been desperate to appeal to a more adult audience. And that seems to be exactly what she’ll do with her new movie Sucker Punch. Admittedly Vanessa Hudgens is trying to appeal to a very specific adult audience – the sort of adult audience that cuts holes in its trouser pockets so that it can masturbate discreetly at the cinema, the sort of adult audience that only became a removal man so that it could steal women’s underwear when nobody was looking – because she’ll be playing a naked prostitute. But a girl’s got to start somewhere. The LA Times reports:

“I’m playing a character named Blondie, and it’s set in a brothel in the 1950s, so there’s not a whole lot of clothes!… I think this is my time to really step it up and get to grow up.” She talks about her role as a sexy woman “strutting her stuff” … and she does things “I would never have imagined doing.”

News of Vanessa Hudgens disrobing for a film isn’t exactly shocking, given that she recently stated her intention to do just that. Plus don’t forget that Vanessa Hudgens is already a world leader in the art of getting naked for the cameras, so whether it’s a film camera or a mobile phone camera or a pinhole camera she made out of an old Pringles tube just so it allowed her to run around with her minge out for a while, it doesn’t really matter.

We will profess that we’re surprised how quickly Vanessa Hudgens has agreed to go naked for a movie, though – we always thought the formula went teen film, failed mainstream film, cancelled primetime TV show, cancelled daytime TV show, film nudity, outright pornography, drug addiction, clean-up period, born-again christian country and western album. And it’s a worry that Vanessa has already skipped so many of these stages – if she now bypasses porn and goes straight to the country album, there’ll be hell to pay. You hear us, Vanessa? Hell to pay.

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