Write a list of celebrities who you don't really care about all that much and Tori Spelling will be in the top two, probably coming in just underneath Tori Spelling's husband and slightly above Tori Spelling's new baby boy Liam Aaron McDermott.
Yesterday Tori Spelling gave birth to her first ever baby in a Los Angeles hospital. Obviously childbirth is a remarkable thing at the best of times, but Tori Spelling's childbirth is even more remarkable for all kinds of heartwarming reasons. For example Liam Aaron McDermott was given his middle name in tribute to Tori's recently-deceased father, and the birth was immediately preceded by Tori Spelling and her mother Candy finally ending a long period of bitter estrangement. Aww. And then instead of afterbirth, a rainbow shot out of Tori Spelling's vagina and all of mankind decided to live in harmony forever more.
Ok, we'll be the first to admit that Tori Spelling isn't exactly the easiest subject to get excited about. Tori Spelling isn't as car crashy or prone to gigantic breakups as fellow Beverly Hills 90210 star Shannen Doherty, and she hasn't won as many Oscars as fellow Beverly Hills 90210 star Hilary Swank, but there's just something about the way that Tori Spelling refuses to let go of the brief fame she gained from being a rubbish show that was made by her dad 18 years ago that's just kind of, well, heartwarming. Right?
Regardless of what other people think, Tori Spelling is still hanging in there – selling bits of her old crap and then writing a book about it – but when Tori Spelling married that guy because he had a giant Tori Spelling tattoo on his shoulder and the pity she felt for him was also enough to let him knock her up within a matter of months, boy did that ever reach stunning new heights of mediocrity.
But yesterday Tori Spelling finally had her first baby, and she also managed to make friends with her own mother Candy Spelling just in time for her to witness it, as People reports:
Tori Spelling and husband Dean McDermott welcomed their first child together, a son, on Tuesday, PEOPLE has learned. Liam Aaron McDermott, who was born in a Los Angeles hospital, weighed 6 pounds, 6 ounces, according to the couple's rep. Spelling's mother Candy Spelling was at the hospital. The baby arrived just as the new mother is reconciling with her own mom after a long estrangement. "Words can't describe the joy and elation I feel at this truly happy event," Candy tells PEOPLE exclusively. "I am looking forward to doting on my new little grandson and all the memorable fun that comes with it." A rep for the couple adds: "They're all really happy and everybody's resting now. Tori and the baby are healthy."
Memorable fun is so heartwarming isn't it? Not like unmemorable fun at all. Anyway, congratulations to Tori Spelling, Tori Spelling's mother and the bloke that Tori Spelling is married to for your new family addition. Incidentally, while it hasn't been officially confirmed that Liam Aaron Spelling is the funniest-looking boy ever born, our rudimentary grasp of genetics are kind of suggesting that he probably is.
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Sleepy Day says
Normally it’d be cruel to call a baby ugly, but I think you’re right here – it’s bound to be scientific fact
Gilbert Wham says
Oh, it’ll be a pan-faced monstrosity alright.