Actually, we should probably clarify that headline. Tiger Woods isn’t definitely in sex rehab. He probably is.

Or he’s near it. Or someone who looks like Tiger Woods from a distance is near it. Possibly. That’s basically the gist of the story, but Person Of Indistinguishable Gender Who From A Distance Bears A Passing Resemblance To Tiger Woods Gets Quite Close To What Could Feasibly Be But Is Not Necessarily A Sex Rehab Facility didn’t really work so well as a headline. We tried it and everything.

Anyway, someone has taken a photo of what they claim to be Tiger Woods outside the Mississippi sex rehab where he’s rumoured to be staying. If that’s true, do you know what this means? It means that… Tiger Woods might quite like having sex. Hot news, there, from about four months ago.

Remember that story from earlier this week about Tiger Woods going to sex rehab? It turns out that it might not have been a load of fabricated, second-hand nonsense after all. A photo has been published online of what looks very much like Tiger Woods milling around outside the Pine Grove Behavorial Health and Addiction Services facility in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. It’s believed to be the first photo of Tiger Woods since he crashed his car like a dimwit when his wife found out about his affairs.

The photo is big news, because it apparently proves that a) Tiger Woods is in rehab (which we sort of already knew) and b) that Tiger Woods actually exists (which we also had a pretty strong inkling about). But just because there are pictures, and just because Tiger Woods has almost certainly checked into rehab, it would be unwise of us to assume that he’s getting a sex addiction checked out. E! Online reports on how tight-lipped everyone is about the nature of Tiger’s alleged problem:

A source confirms to E! News that the beleaguered golfer … was enrolled there at least as of last Friday. Whether or not Woods is being treated for a sex addiction remains unconfirmable. Our insider says that all Pine Grove employees sign strict confidentiality agreements to maintain patient privacy. Therefore, “everyone is very paranoid and afraid to say anything.”

Sure, sex addiction might sound like the most logical thing that Tiger Woods would be treated for, but let’s not jump the gun. It might also be the case that Tiger Woods is being treated for a crippling addiction to endorsing any old crap that crosses his path, or an addiction to taking his shirt off for retrospectively unwise magazine photo shoots, or golf. We know that if we enjoyed playing golf, we’d want the offending part of our brain sliced out as quickly as possible.

Still, if we do assume that Tiger Woods is being treated for sex addiction, we should look on the bright side – that leaves more leathery old hollow-faced opportunistic cocktail hostesses with nylon hair who look a bit like transvestites from a distance for the rest of us. Right boys? High five!

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