Articles tagged with: Sorry
Jail has changed Foxy Brown, that's for sure. In the past, if anybody had been stupid enough to accuse Foxy Brown of any wrongdoing, they'd have to spend a week afterwards trying to pull their kneecaps out of their nostrils with a set of blood-splattered pliers. But not any more. Now that she's out of jail, Foxy Brown got to go to court to face charges over that time she punched her neighbour's head in with a Blackberry. And rather than lie and gripe her way straight back to jail, Foxy Brown unusually pleaded guilty and apologised. So it finally looks as if Foxy Brown has learnt her lesson. That's rubbish, what are we supposed to write about now?
There's an angry mob forming over those 'topless' Miley Cyrus pictures in Vanity Fair - but the question is, whose house shall we burn down first? We can't burn down Miley Cyrus' house because she's already apologised to her fans and blamed all the evil grown-ups for exploiting her - so that just leaves Annie Leibovitz, the woman who took the photos of Miley Cyrus in the first place. Let's get her! Except we can't, because Annie Leibovitz has apologised for the Miley Cyrus photos as well. OK, maybe 'apologised' is a strong word - instead Annie Leibovitz has called everyone stupid for not appreciating the beauty of her art, but she phrased it like an apology. An apology that we accept. We think. Oh, we're so confused. Let's burn down the camera factories!
Remember when Eva Longoria's husband Tony Parker was caught shagging that model he met at his wedding?
Well unremember it. It didn't happen. Yes, we know that X17 - the website that broke the story - published all sorts of saucy text messages allegedly from Tony Parker to this model, but they were faked. X17 has admitted that it was all twaddle of the highest order.
So how has X17 chosen to apologise for all the stress it's caused Eva Longoria and Tony Parker? By mumbling the most underwhelming apology in history. But at least it's an apology - we're still waiting for X17 to say sorry for making us think about Eva Longoria for any more than we absolutely have to.
Of all celebrity feuds, none have been odder than the one between Kathleen Turner and Nicholas Cage about whether or not he stole someone's chihuahua once.
It was a serious feud, too - after Kathleen Turner accused Nicolas Cage of stealing chihuahuas and drunk driving in her autobiography, Cage took her to the High Court for it.
But now it's all come juddering to an end, with Kathleen Turner making a public apology for the claims. Thanks heavens - now we can all stop thinking of Nicolas Cage as the man who stole a chihuahua and go back to thinking of him as the man who runs up hills dressed as a bear and punches girls square in the face. It's his comfort zone, if you will.
Jay Leno's crushing inability to make people laugh has long been well-known but, heavens, he's surpassed himself this time.
A few nights ago, while interviewing Ryan Phillippe on his show, Jay Leno ditched the usual question/answer format to basically goad Ryan into pulling his 'gayest face' until he threatened to walk offstage.
And now Jay Leno has apologised. He's now come to realise that mocking homosexuals in the 21st century is both outmoded and offensive and has promised that next time Ryan Phillipe comes on his show he'll only restrict himself to try and make him jump up and down for food in a loincloth like the black people do.
As everyone knows, Diddy is responsible for all the bad things in the world, from squeaky floorboards to the 1994 shooting of Tupac Shakur to the invention of the jellyfish.
We know this because we read the Los Angeles Times, and the Los Angeles Times definitely said that Diddy was definitely behind Tupac's 1994 shooting.
Except that, um, he wasn't. The Los Angeles Times has apologised after an investigation showed that the sources in its recent Diddy/ Tupac story were apparently fabricated. You may be off the hook this time, Diddy, but we've still got you on the jellyfish thing. Our lawyers will be in touch.
Quickly - who won at the Oscars this year? You can't remember, can you.
It's OK, nor can anyone. Because this year, the Oscars weren't about stupid things like 'films' and 'artistic excellence' - they were about Gary Busey drooling all over Jennifer Garner's neck until she looked like she was about to cry.
And now, about six weeks after everyone forgot that he even did it, Gary Busey has issued a statement apologising to Jennifer Garner for any distress he caused. Apparently he was aiming his spittle for her cleavage or something. He didn't say that, exactly, but it'd just make sense.
Historians know that the end of the Napoleonic War came when Napoleon's wife had drunken vomity sex with another man and the Duke of Wellington felt a bit sorry for him.
And now history has repeated itself. Following the revelation that Cheryl Cole's husband Ashley Cole loved nothing more than to dick a bunch of slappers while throwing up the contents of his guts all over them, Cheryl Cole's arch-nemesis Lily Allen has called a truce.
That's right - the ferocious Allen-Cole war is over. Maybe if politicians were more like Lily Allen the world would be a better place. Although if more politicians were like Lily Allen there'd be a lot more shambling amateurish BBC Three chat shows. Probably best that they're not, then.
