We've known for some time that 'sorry' isn't the hardest thing for Robbie Williams to say – because that would be "Cream cakes? No thanks, I'm full."
And just to prove how quick to apologise he is, Robbie Williams has just said sorry to former Take That manager Nigel Martin Smith because he claimed in a song that Smith was a thief who stole funds from Take That's earnings when actually he wasn't. And it was one of the most heartfelt apologies we've ever heard, with a lawyer making a forced, court-ruled apology on behalf of Robbie Williams in his absence to a lawyer accepting the apology on behalf of Nigel Martin Smith in his absence in a courtroom. However, it's not all good news – if Robbie Williams is back in the news, does that mean he's famous again?
Does a falling tree make any sound if nobody is there to hear it? It's an important question, because we're in the middle of a similar, yet slightly updated, conundrum – if Robbie Williams libels you in an album that nobody buys, does it still count as libel?
Actually, it's not a conundrum at all, because it turns out that actually it is libel and if you take Robbie Williams to court for it there's a chance he'll end up paying you half a million quid and saying how sorry he is.
That's what's just happened to Nigel Martin Smith, anyway. You'll remember Nigel Martin Smith as the former manager of Take That, and the man who Robbie Williams has held a near-compulsive grudge against for over a decade. The grudge revealed itself most explicitly on a track called The 90's on Robbie Williams' latest album Rudebox, where Robbie apparently claimed that Martin Smith had stolen money from the band.
Whether this is true or not we just don't know – latest statistics show that Robbie Williams only actually sold one copy of Rudebox, and that was to his Mum, and she hasn't got round to listening to it yet. But even though Robbie Williams changed the lyrics to The 90's at the first sniff of trouble, Nigel Martin Smith still came after him.
And the case resolved itself this morning when Robbie Williams was ordered to pay Nigel Martin Smith an undisclosed sum of damages – thought to be somewhere around the £500,000 mark – and publicly apologise to him. Robbie Williams didn't do that himself – he stayed in LA where it's cheaper to work through 60 cigarettes, 36 double espressos, 20 cans of Red Bull and all sorts of Seroxat every day – but his lawyer did an awfully good job of apologising quite profusely:
"Robbie Williams wishes to make it clear to his fans, and the public at large, that he did not intend these lyrics to be taken at face value. Specifically, Robbie Williams did not intend to allege that Nigel Martin Smith has ever stolen any funds from Take That or anyone. Prior to the release of Rudebox, the lyrics to The 90's were changed by Robbie Williams in order to avoid any further misunderstanding. Nonetheless, Robbie Williams wishes now to apologise publicly and unreservedly for the distress that the original publication of those lyrics caused to Nigel."
And now that's all over, perhaps Robbie Williams and Nigel Martin Smith will be able to put their differences behind them and maybe even become friends. It's not like they have nothing in common, is it? Nigel Martin Smith and Robbie Williams are both northern, tubby and have their best work behind them – plus if two grown men can't bond over a deep resentment that Gary Barlow is more successful than they are, what can they bond over?
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tim slasher says
sod off. robbie rules
mariah says
Oh, please. Robbie Williams never intended to apologize. I think he quite enjoys it. He has the money to pay NMS off and continues to do so. It is a bit immature but I think it’s funny at the same time. If I had the money to go about disparaging my a-hole managers I have had in life, it would be a sweet temptation indeed.
Robbie Williams rocks. And Gary Barlow will never be bigger than Williams. Dream on!