Robbie Williams just isn't as famous as he was – now Take That have reunited Robbie isn't the most famous one from Take That, and thanks to a bald nutter who thinks she's the devil, Robbie Williams isn't the most famous rehab patient either.
Not that Robbie Williams could feasibly be the most famous person in rehab anyway, because Robbie Williams isn't even in rehab any more – he's back at home being looked after by his Mum. According to reports, Robbie Williams left the Cottonwood de Tucson rehab centre in Arizona – where he was being treated for addiction to smoking fags, drinking Red Bull and eating prescription medicine like they were Tic Tacs – a week early. What Robbie Williams' next move will be is anyone's guess, although on past experience we'd imagine it'll include cheeky grins, a self-deprecating tattoo and an album called Boo Hoo Hoo I'm The Saddest Millionaire Superstar That Ever Lived.
Different people have different ways of celebrating their birthdays – Sylvester Stallone has a great big disco, Charlotte Church gets knocked up and Madonna does more embarrassing Jesus impressions – but Robbie Williams is different. Robbie Williams likes to go to rehab for his birthday, so that's exactly what he did.
Already something of a rehab veteran, Robbie Williams decided to take himself off to rehab last month' purportedly this was to deal with his reported daily intake of 60 cigarettes, 36 double espressos, 20 cans of Red Bull and all sorts of prescription drugs like Seroxat, although the double-combo of his old group Take That now being more popular than him and his last album Rudebox being so awful that not even Simon Cowell liked it very much probably had something to do with it as well.
Robbie Williams – recently most famous for not being gay and for not wanting children ever because the world is such a horrible place – checked into the Cottonwood de Tucson rehab centre in Arizona, commonly referred to as the harshest rehab facility in America, to battle his demons. But it seems that Robbie Williams was unable to complete the month long course and has left rehab a week early, as Reuters reports:
Pop star Robbie Williams has left a U.S. rehabilitation center, his spokeswoman said on Wednesday, but declined to comment on reports he had left early… Patients are required to share a bedroom with two others and undergo intensive group and individual therapy sessions at the 700 pound ($1,353)-a-night center… The spokeswoman said in a statement: "Robbie Williams has completed his stay in Arizona and is continuing with an after-care program in Los Angeles." She declined to elaborate.
That after-care system isn't quite as interesting as that of Britney Spears – who got Kevin Federline to shave his head for her – but that's possibly because Robbie Williams didn't write '666' across his head, loudly proclaim himself to be the Lord Of Darkness and then try and kill himself. Probably. Instead, Robbie Williams is reported to be resting at home with his Mum, who luckily happens to be a drink and drugs counsellor.
Perhaps Robbie Williams will never reveal the true reason why he left rehab one week before he should have, but hopefully he did it out of public interest – after all, if Robbie Williams isn't in rehab then Joss Stone can't make a twat out of herself by slurring a drunken monologue about what an inspiration Robbie Williams is for going to rehab in a broad Alabama dialect at the Brits again, can she?
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Ro-Ler says
He don’t wanna rock DJ… but he does want enough coffee to down a herd of elephants
megan riley 11n says
robbie williams is the creation of sh’amaze
he is a fittehhh
megan riley loves you
rachel evans loves you
mica aspinwall loves you
jessica swift loves you
we all drink red bull like theres no tomorrow
and take tablets like there tic-tacs
wubbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
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