It's been a day now since Jane Fonda blurted out the C-word on live morning television and, astonishingly, the sky hasn't fallen yet.

But still, Jane Fonda is mortified that she said 'cunt' live on the Today show, and she's done nothing but sincerely apologise with all her heart for corrupting a planet's moral sensibilities ever since.

OK, that's not strictly true. Jane Fonda hasn't apologised at all for saying 'cunt' on TV. But she has got her rep to apologise. Well, sort of apologise - the jist of the apology is that everyone should should shut up because Jane Fonda didn't invent the word 'cunt' - but, until someone builds some sort of cunt rehab for Jane Fonda to attend, that's probably as good as we'll get. 

We've all seen those seatbelt adverts where a car crashes and the seatbeltless passenger gets turned into a mound of whimpering goo - but imagine if that mound of goo was Miley Cyrus.

You'd be distraught, wouldn't you. Miley would have left this world leaving us with only two albums, a slightly annoying TV show and a 3D movie of a concert to remember her by. And that could have been the case after a scene from the Miley Cyrus movie clearly showed Miley Cyrus and her dad Billy Ray Cyrus riding around in a car without a seatbelt on.

But now Billy Ray Cyrus has publicly apologised for their lack of caution. That's not enough, though - we'll only rest when Billy Ray Cyrus wears a seatbelt all the time, even when he's walking around his house or going to the toilet. And if the belt could be wound around his mouth or neck, then that's even better.

We've known for some time that 'sorry' isn't the hardest thing for Robbie Williams to say - because that would be "Cream cakes? No thanks, I'm full."

And just to prove how quick to apologise he is, Robbie Williams has just said sorry to former Take That manager Nigel Martin Smith because he claimed in a song that Smith was a thief who stole funds from Take That's earnings when actually he wasn't. And it was one of the most heartfelt apologies we've ever heard, with a lawyer making a forced, court-ruled apology on behalf of Robbie Williams in his absence to a lawyer accepting the apology on behalf of Nigel Martin Smith in his absence in a courtroom. However, it's not all good news - if Robbie Williams is back in the news, does that mean he's famous again?

If there's one thing sadder than seeing a grown man cry, it's seeing an overgrown, bright-orange man with a preposterous blonde mullet and leather waistcoat combination crying.

And if there's anything sadder than that, it's seeing an overgrown, bright-orange man with a preposterous blonde mullet and leather waistcoat combination openly wonder if he should commit suicide or bury himself in an unmarked grave like the slaves, which is how Dog The Bounty Hunter has spent most of this week to atone for the tape of him being racist about his son's black girlfriend. But even though his career is in tatters and he's become something of a public hate figure, Dog The Bounty Hunter says he's forgiven the son who shopped him in, and wants to prove his forgiveness by only spraying three full cans of bear mace into his son's face next time they meet, when the traditional family greeting involves five.

When Dog The Bounty Hunter was taped calling his son's black girlfriend a 'nigger', the global shock was palpable - not just because of the hateful language but because most people assumed that Dog The Bounty Hunter was black himself.

It's true. OK, admittedly Dog The Bounty Hunter is a 15-foot-tall, bleach-blonde mulleted redneck who makes his living shooting minor criminals in the face with bear mace and very obviously has white skin, so it might be a stretch to see Dog as black, but that's how Dog The Bounty Hunter described himself in his first post-scandal TV interview. But it's OK, because Dog The Bounty Hunter has learnt that he isn't actually black - which is good because if he was then he'd hate himself and have to spray mace at his own eyes, then manhandle himself a bit while shouting 'bra' into his own face over and over again. And that'd just be weird.