We've all seen those seatbelt adverts where a car crashes and the seatbeltless passenger gets turned into a mound of whimpering goo – but imagine if that mound of goo was Miley Cyrus.
You'd be distraught, wouldn't you. Miley would have left this world leaving us with only two albums, a slightly annoying TV show and a 3D movie of a concert to remember her by. And that could have been the case after a scene from the Miley Cyrus movie clearly showed Miley Cyrus and her dad Billy Ray Cyrus riding around in a car without a seatbelt on.
But now Billy Ray Cyrus has publicly apologised for their lack of caution. That's not enough, though – we'll only rest when Billy Ray Cyrus wears a seatbelt all the time, even when he's walking around his house or going to the toilet. And if the belt could be wound around his mouth or neck, then that's even better.
Miley Cyrus is undoubtedly an influential person. Thanks to her show Hannah Montana, her pop albums and her latest box office-topping 3D movie, there's a vast army of tweens who hang on Miley's every word. If Miley Cyrus started wearing yellow shoes, her fans would all start wearing yellow shoes. If Miley Cyrus started swanning around in top hats and talking in an unconvincing Swiss accent, then her fans would do the same. Point is, Miley Cyrus is a massive role model.
And that means when Miley Cyrus is filmed not wearing a seatbelt, millions of young girls around the world will immediately think it's cool to unbuckle their seatbelts and pray for their parents swerve off the road and plough into a tree at 100mph. That's not an exaggeration – millions of young girls will literally do exactly that.
The outrage caused by the scene in the movie Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best Of Both Worlds Concert Tour showing Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus not wearing seatbelts has been so overwhelming that you'd think it showed the pair of them smoking crack through a hollowed-out endangered salamander, humping nuns and discussing how brilliant suicide terrorists are – but nevertheless it threatens to ruin everything that Miley Cyrus has achieved so far in her career.
To counter this, Billy Ray Cyrus himself has decided to apologise to the entire world through People magazine:
"We got caught up in the moment of filming, and we made a mistake and forgot to buckle our seatbelts," Billy Ray Cyrus tells PEOPLE about a gaffe in the hit 3-D movie Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour – one that's caused a head-on collision with controversy. "Seatbelt safety is extremely important," he adds.
In addition, Miley Cyrus is thought to be planning a seatbelt-awareness pop album to further make amends, entitled Seatbelts Like Totally Rule. The first single from that album – Oops! I Almost Got Mangled To Death – will be released shortly.
No, not really – and the fact that it was Billy Ray Cyrus and not Miley Cyrus who spoke out about the controversy speaks volumes about how much she regrets the mistake. Then again, if Billy Ray Cyrus was our dad, we'd probably encourage the likelihood of death as well.
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mst3kster says
Billy Ray’s mullet makes me want to cut an achy breaky fart.
Hannah says
this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read. HORRIBLE article! You should be embarrassed to have the one the web
CATSRULE says
a)i think her movie has to long of a name, their the same person!!! b) she needs to watch whats she’s doing if a 4 year old saw that…I THINK WE WOULD ALL KNOW WHAT WE’D SEE ON THE NEWS IN THE MORNING!!! i don’t care if she got caught up in filming she better watch it!! She also needs to apologize not just let her dad handle it. Bravo i applaud this artical BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO!!!!!
gir says
I wonder if CATSRULE and Jazzy are somehow connected…hmmm….fond of exclamation points, misspells article in the very same way, is a dumb child….what a mystery.