Posts tagged as:

rumours

Hugh Jackman’s Wife Is Not Married To A Gay Man

by Joanna Bolouri

Here at hecklerspray we’d never dream of gossiping or making crude or childish remarks about celebrities or their sexual preferences.  The depraved acts we’ve considered in the bedsit alone (and not counting the ones we’ve scheduled for the Christmas party) are enough to make any sane person question their sexuality, so we’d never judge anyone. But then [...]

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Sarah Harding Leaves Rehab After Recovering From Irrational Hatred of Daniel O’Donnell

by Michael Park

Sarah Harding, or the blonde one from Girls Aloud, has spent the last wee while in rehab. Did you know that? No, neither did we. Is it that no-one told us or simply that the admission of a celebrity to rehab has become so commonplace that we now spend more time focussing on what Daniel [...]

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Piers Morgan Is Leaving America’s Got Talent But Unfortunately Plans To Stay In The Public Eye

by Michael Park

There’s only one way to start an article about Piers Morgan and that’s with an unabashed string of obscenities and threats aimed squarely at the former Mirror editor and dough-faced clown. Unfortunately though, we have to be (minutely) more professional than that and would therefore urge you to launch your own insults at this image [...]

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Tom Cruise Is Scared Of Singing But Not Of 10,000ft Killer Robots Or Whatever They Have In The New Mission: Impossible

by Michael Park

Professional headcase Tom Cruise has admitted to being terrified of the melodic word with his fear coming to a very public fore while filming his new waste of time “Rock Of Ages”. Tom Cruise is well renowned throughout the world, both as an actor, a producer and as someone who doesn’t know when a franchise [...]

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Creased Or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You The Way It Is.

by Michael Park

Runned or Gunned? Folded Dream Themes – Here they are performing some lovely themes at the Frank Sidebottom fundraiser. A History Of Film – Ever wondered what classic films would be like starring Keith Chegwin? Ponder no longer. Gink – It could be the future of Social Netbloinking. Or… not. The Brazilian Police – No [...]

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Readers’ Letters: In Which You All Dribble Over Scarlett Johansson’s Breasts [Video]

by Michael Park

Every week, we have the unfortunate task of picking our way through your crusted correspondence to find the most depraved, hideous scrawlings to put on the site for everyone to laugh at. This week, it was a little bit easier as our drooling mass of a readership left a slug trail right to some of [...]

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Bored Hollywood Executives To Remake ‘Point Break’ With Worst Film Writer On Earth

by Michael Park

It is a truth passed down from generation to generation amongst Hollywood’s glittering elite. There’s no reason to make something if you can remake something. Hollywood film executives are willing to remake or reboot any film or franchise in the pursuit of artistic fulfilment*. From tat like The Day The Earth Stood Still to horror [...]

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Creased Or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You The Way It Is

by Michael Park

Reason or Rhyme? Folded The Tripoli Grand Prix 1937 – It’s cooler than all of us. Arrested Development – Yes, the film is happening. Captain America – It might not be totally awful! Great! The whole Northern Quarter of Manchester will be delighted. Matthew Kelly – He’s revealed his six favourite books to The Express. [...]

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The Famous Ones From Glee Are Leaving, Which Means You’ll Stop Watching It

by Mof Gimmers

Massive news. Seriously. Forget all that News Corp guff. This is the biggie. Honest it is. We’re literally coming down with a dose of The News. Basically, Bigger Than The Beatles, Glee, is going to lose its two biggest stars. Stars that just happened to be shaped exactly like Lea Michele and Cory Monteith. And [...]

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Glee’s Cory Monteith Used To Be An Interesting Drug-Taker

by Mof Gimmers

The collective stars of Glee are so clean-cut and boring that they’re almost Teflon for interest. Seriously. The only thing of note about them is when they take their tops off or cover a song which irritates pooh-poohing rock fans (the latter is always particularly funny as musos deserve everything they get). However, this hasn’t [...]

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