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Reunion

Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox Cling Desperately To Each Other For Some Attention

by Mof Gimmers

Remember Friends? Every inhabitant of Earth gathered in Times Square to watch the last episode and openly wept when one of them did that thing that meant a lot to their character or whatever it was. Then Joey probably did a bad impression of the Fonz and they all laughed their shoulders up and down [...]

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Faces Reunion Shows You How To Really Ruin A Legacy

by Mof Gimmers

The Faces haven’t been around for thirty-odd years, thanks mainly to Rod Stewart’s successful (and dodgy) solo career and the death of Ronnie Lane. That’s not stopped them reforming though and, worse still, playing like they really wanted to get the memory of one of Britain’s finest bands and really piss all over it. For [...]

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Are ABBA getting back together?

by Mof Gimmers

ABBA hate each other don’t they? They all swapped fluids and such and ended up seething eyeball to eyeball, bowing out of the spotlight in the lamest way possible – limping out with a live performance on The Late, Late Breakfast Show.

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Madonna/ Britney/ Timberlake Queasy Threeway – Tonight

by Stuart Heritage

If you’re a fan of awkward sexually-charged small-talk, you could do a lot worse than getting to Madonna’s concert in New York tonight.

Why? Because Madonna plans to have two very special guests performing with her – Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. If Madonna pulls it off, it has the potential to be the messiest reunion in history – don’t forget that all three of them have had their tongue inside Britney Spears’ mouth at one point or another, with the possible exception of Britney Spears.

If you ask us, this reeks of publicity stunt. And not even a good one – if Madonna really wanted people to go to her show tonight she wouldn’t just stop at Justin Timberlake – she’d hire everyone Britney Spears has ever slept with. Britney and Justin? Pah. Britney and Justin and Kevin Federline and Adnan Ghalib and that guy Britney married for like half an hour? All voguing like their lives depended on it? Now we’re talking.

If you're a fan of awkward sexually-charged small-talk, you could do a lot worse than getting to Madonna's concert in New York tonight. Why? Because Madonna plans to have two very special guests performing with her - Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. If Madonna pulls it off, it has the potential to be the messiest reunion in history - don't forget that all three of them have had their tongue inside Britney Spears' mouth at one point or another, with the possible exception of Britney Spears. If you ask us, this reeks of publicity stunt. And not even a good one - if Madonna really wanted people to go to her show tonight she wouldn't just stop at Justin Timberlake - she'd hire everyone Britney Spears has ever slept with. Britney and Justin? Pah. Britney and Justin and Kevin Federline and Adnan Ghalib and that guy Britney married for like half an hour? All voguing like their lives depended on it? Now we're talking.
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Good News, Stinking Jobless Wasters – Phish Are Back

by Stuart Heritage

Are you a fan of tedious, formless, mostly improvised songs that go on for three hours longer than the point of normal human endurance?

You are? Well have we got some good news for you! Phish – the defunct jam-band predominantly famous for a) having some ice cream named after it and b) totally soundtracking that epic hacky sack marathon you and your buddies had in your parent’s backyard one afternoon back when you were 28 – are reuniting.

Phish have announced three special comeback dates in Virginia for next March, their first since disbanding in 2004. We’ll definitely be attending the Phish reunion shows – it’s been too long since we last caught beard nits off a hippy after stumbling into the middle of a drearily self-satisfied drum circle in the carpark of an old WWF arena.

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Bros: The Latest Reforming Band You Don’t Care About

by Stuart Heritage

There are plenty of reasons to hate Take That – from the way you can’t go more than three minutes on any commercial radio station without hearing that bloody Shine song to Gary Barlow’s stupid face.

But the biggest reason of all is because Take That reformed, giving billions of other ancient teenypop bands the idea to reunite, often with eye-cripplingly shocking results. But not all ancient teenypop bands – for example, tinpot twin-based growl-heavy 1980s boyband Bros have clung onto their morals and refused to reunite.

What’s that? Bros have decided to reunite as well? That’s great – back in the day Bros had a large, highly dedicated fanbase, so we’re sure that they’ll go crazy for the reunion just as soon as someone shouts news about it into their ear-trumpet. We’re implying that they’re all old.

There are plenty of reasons to hate Take That - from the way you can't go more than three minutes on any commercial radio station without hearing that bloody Shine song to Gary Barlow's stupid face. But the biggest reason of all is because Take That reformed, giving billions of other ancient teenypop bands the idea to reunite, often with eye-cripplingly shocking results. But not all ancient teenypop bands - for example, tinpot twin-based growl-heavy 1980s boyband Bros have clung onto their morals and refused to reunite. What's that? Bros have decided to reunite as well? That's great - back in the day Bros had a large, highly dedicated fanbase, so we're sure that they'll go crazy for the reunion just as soon as someone shouts news about it into their ear-trumpet. We're implying that they're all old.
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VIDEO: New Kids On The Block On Today, Together & Zimmer-Free

by Stuart Heritage

You’ve been waiting for this day for years – well, probably more ‘dreading’ than ‘waiting’ but let’s not split hairs – New Kids On The Block are officially back!

Not too long ago the reformed New Kids On The Block made their first public appearance on the Today show. And the shock of realising that they all still have fully-working sets of eyes and limbs, we heard New Kids On The Block tell the world that “Music brought us back.”

We presume that’d be Music O’Kneesmash. the famed Boston debt collection agent, then. Anyway, video of the New Kids On The Block Today appearance after the jump.

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New Kids On The Block: The First Craggedy Old Reunion Photo

by Stuart Heritage

Ask anyone which band they’d most like to see reunite and they’ll probably say The Beatles – but if you drug their water or concuss them a bit there’s a chance they’d say New Kids On The Block.

And if that’s the case then their dreams have been answered, because New Kids On The Block are back!

After a few months of sly non-commitment, New Kids On The Block are expected to officially announce their reunion on Friday’s Today show. And, as an appetite-whetter, New Kids On The Block have released the first group photo of the reunion. At least that’s what we think it is – it could just be a page ripped out of Middle-Aged Weekend Father At A Court Appearance magazine that someone published as a belated April Fool joke. Who knows?

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Van Halen Reunion Tour Inevitably Scrapped Again

by Stuart Heritage

Sometimes it can seem like the hardest thing in the world to get four old men to play bad-haired, leotard-wearing widdly-widdly-woo hard rock music together.

That’s certainly the case with Van Halen. After more messily aborted reunions than you could ever wish for, Van Halen finally hit the road in September to play their bad-haired, leotard-wearing widdly-widdly-woo hard rock music to as many middle-aged bad-haired nostalgia freaks as the possibly could.

Except it couldn’t last and, with crushing inevitability, the rest of the Van Halen reunion tour has been scrapped; either forever or until the band feels the need to demonstrate its innate lack of personal and organisation skills in public again.

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Smelly-Looking Hippies Play For Barack Obama

by Stuart Heritage

Today is Super Tuesday, which we think is what Americans call Pancake Day.

Not really – every day is Pancake Day if you’re American. In fact, Super Tuesday is when everyone decides which person they’d like to think about choosing as the candidate that might possibly end up being the President or something. And all of the candidates need all the help they can get.

Barack Obama knows this, which is why he got The Grateful Dead to reform in a show of support. So at least he’s got the wizened old cheesy-toenailed hippy vote sewn up.

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