There are plenty of reasons to hate Take That – from the way you can't go more than three minutes on any commercial radio station without hearing that bloody Shine song to Gary Barlow's stupid face.
But the biggest reason of all is because Take That reformed, giving billions of other ancient teenypop bands the idea to reunite, often with eye-cripplingly shocking results. But not all ancient teenypop bands – for example, tinpot twin-based growl-heavy 1980s boyband Bros have clung onto their morals and refused to reunite.
What's that? Bros have decided to reunite as well? That's great – back in the day Bros had a large, highly dedicated fanbase, so we're sure that they'll go crazy for the reunion just as soon as someone shouts news about it into their ear-trumpet. We're implying that they're all old.
Bros, for those of you under the age of 75, were a sensation back in the late 1980s. Thanks to their barbershop-model good looks, trendy clothes and irrational habit of going "Ooh-UGH!" six or seven times during every single song that they ever recorded, Bros were probably responsible for more adolescent knicker-wetting than cystitis and abnormally swollen prostate glands combined.
But don't worry if you can't remember what Bros were like, because they've decided to reform. Following in the ultra-successful reunions of the Spice Girls (who cancelled their world tour halfway through because they hate each other), East 17 (who didn't even get to tour because they kept punching each other in the face) and All Saints (who couldn't tour because nobody at all bought their album), Bros are the latest old semi-forgotten band to see if they've still got the old magic. BBC News reports:
"If we can make the numbers work and the venues work, then we're all up for it," said [Matt] Goss, now 39. He was speaking at the film premiere of his twin brother's latest film Hellboy II: The Golden Army. "Being in a band is like being a politician, you've got to make sure everyone is happy," Goss said. "But Luke, Craig and definitely myself – we're all up for it."
Oh, thank christ for that, the Bros reunion will be a full reunion – even the dark-haired one who wasn't related to anyone and nobody fancied is back onboard too.
Best of all, the Bros reunion isn't for strictly financial reasons, because all its members have gone on to forge highly successful careers for themselves since they split up. Craig Logan, for example, became Pink's manager, Luke Goss has starred in everything from Blade II to a forthcoming movie based on Tekken and Matt Goss had a song that got all the way to number 38 in the charts. They're all big deals in their own special, slightly underwhelming, way.
But the Bros reunion is bound to be a huge success, and maybe it'll be for good this time. It all depends on how quickly Bros get sick of playing When Will I Be Famous to half-empty halls full of shrieking ropey-looking middle-aged hen parties drunk off their knockers on WKD. Oh, who are we kidding? That never gets old.
Mithaearon says
Is there a reason to live anymore?
All the shit about raising petrol and fuel costs, tax going up, no money, terrosists wanting to blow us up and now this?
Whats the point in even carrying on.
Mithaearon says
Was jsut about to slash a razor across my wrists when I read this from here:
http://ukpress.google.com/article/ALeqM5hHJxK9QoJxT_bAUZFI2P0WVTadvQ
Luke Goss has quashed rumours of a likely Bros comeback, saying he has no plans to participate in a Bros reunion tour.
Luke’s twin brother and bandmate Matt said recently that the band were keen to get back together.
"If we can make the numbers work and the venues work, then we’re all up for it," he said.
But a spokeswoman for Luke denied this was true.
"Contrary to recent reports in the British press, actor Luke Goss has no plans to participate in a Bros reunion tour," she said.
She added that Luke, who stars in recent release Hellboy II, was busy with film commitments.
"He recently completed filming the action feature Tekken based on the popular video game, to be released in 2009, and expects to begin filming another project in August in the US," she said.
Thank fuck for that.
LA says
First things first; I love Take That and i think it’s stupid to start an article with "There are plenty of reasons to hate…"
Take That was not the first band to come back together, so it’s not TT fault. They also have been voted The Best Comeback.
They’ve won lots of prices the last few years, so no one can knock down the fact that TT have returned in truly spectacular fashion and the best thing is? It’s all just the beginning, because they’re already making a new album.
B says
The journalist who wrote this is clearly another arrogant idiot that never had anything better to do in life than sit behind a desk & say "Who should we slag off today"
Wether you like Bros, dislike Bros or don’t even really care theirs going to be people who liked them & the impact that Bros had & caused back in the day was phenomenal, can they sustain that now, probably not, but I’m pretty sure that if they did something again it would be a highly successful show, look at the media frenzy just over a little something thats mentioned, besides if you watch the clip Matt actually never said they were, he just IF we were to do it after being asked, so really the media are just looking that fruitcakes.
You have to remember too, Bros had a number one hit in nearly every country in the world, except the US, though I Owe You Nothing was No.1 on the dance chart there, they are still the youngest band to sell out & headline Wembley Stadium to over 70,000 people also & although the Spice Girls may have sold mroe records & been huge, their market was under 10 year olds, Bros had a very dedicated & strong teen following & above, even younger, they covered the board, so it would be different anyway.
Now, Luke’s already said he isn’t doing it, as has Craig, however all 3 seem to have had success since Bros & Matt’s chart position was actually 22 (I’m Coming With Ya), not 38 (He’s never had a chart hit at 38) & he’s also had 16 number one’s with tracks he’s written worlwide for other artists, song on Stuart Little & has been working with legendary producer Babyface on a new album.
My point is, they’ve had good lifes & done well, a much better life & career than the journalist behind this article, and wether you like Bros or not, if they wanted to reform, they have every right to, if you don’t like it, don’t go to the gigs, simple as, but their will always be a massive handful of people who DO enjoy it, and thats what matters really, who gives a fuck about those who don’t care?
Slagging off Take That too after having such a successful comeback shows what an ass whoever wrote this article is.
And by the way, I’m not fussed in regards to either band, I just find journalists like this such arrogant pricks.
But the story is false anyway drummed up by media’s false pretentions so you just look silly writing this.
gir says
"But the story is false anyway drummed up by media’s false pretentions so you just look silly writing this." Yes…he’s the one looking silly here….
Gilbert Wham says
Well, being that they gat paid for writing it, slightly less silly than that rambling argle-bargle you just posted…
Christine Walters says
Here we go again, more poison from a so called journalist about in my opinion, one of the best British bands ever. Yep you guessed it, I suppose I am what you describe as an "ageing teenybopper".
I would like to ask a question of this person, were you looking at a reflection of yourself when you talked about Gary Barlows stupid face?
Again in my opinion he has grown into an extremely handsome man, who gets better and better with age and has one of the best singing voices I have ever heard, add to that the fact that he is a very talented song writer, a dedicated husband and father and also one of the most approachable people in the music industry, it begins to seem that this "journalist" is green with envy, plain and simple.
If you are a fan of Bros then I am sure you will look forward to seeing them and good luck in all they do, but why slag off Take That?
Is it because the gutter press of this country are unable to find any bad press about Take That, because they dont take drugs or get sloshed out of their brains and behave like morons, as some of our so-called musicians do.
Get a life mate and write something worthy not behave like a complete guttersnipe, theres a good person.
gir says
You heard it here first folks: no less an authority than Christine Walters has rated some stupid British boy band right up there with the Beatles. Woo.
chris says
entierement d accord avec toi moi j aime stevie wonder ,bros ,jakson, george michael, sting , matt goss bien sur j ai 34 ans et une reformation je ne dis pas non .salut a toutes et a tous
Christine Walters says
Wow Gir who rattled your chain then?
Am I not allowed an opinion?
Grow up!
gir says
ahahaha you think a british boy band is one of the best british bands ever i.e. you are stupid
gir says
The command to grow up means so much from an idiot with a retarded child’s appreciation for music.