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Justice For Michael Jackson Rally Planned In Erm…Oxford?

by Matthew Laidlow

Ding dong the witch is dead sang the Munchkins in the Wizard of Oz when their evil overload melted to death. We don’t know if any of the alleged victims of the Michael Jackson touching-up trial sang anything along those lines, but it’s genuine fact that Jackson fans consoled themselves via mass weeping sessions, crotch [...]

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The Story Of The Michael Jackson Tribute Gig And Kiss Calling Him A Nonce

by Matthew Laidlow

Moon walking. That’s what the slightly deluded, psychotic and mentally challenged Michael Jackson fans will be doing at his tribute show in early October, whilst frothing at the mouth. However, it does seem slightly strange that Jackson’s followers will gather in Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium whilst alleged manslaughterer Dr. Conrad Murray faces trial. According to you [...]

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Michael Jackson Tribute Line-up Announced! All The Famous People Seem To Be Busy

by Mof Gimmers

Remember when the organisers of the Michael Jackson tribute gig said that those who travelled to Cardiff (obviously the natural home for a MJ tribute) would see “the biggest and best concert in the world”? Well they won’t. By some distance too. See, the initial line-up has been revealed and it looks more like a [...]

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Michael Jackson’s Erotic Sketches To Be Given To Sick Children

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Jackson loved children didn’t he? He really loved them. He let them stay over at his house. He even protected them from night terrors in his bed while they slept with one eye open. He really touched those little darlings. And now, even as a very famous cadaver, he plans to hover over children [...]

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Michael Jackson Fanatics To Descend On Cardiff For A Wacko Tribute Show

by Matthew Laidlow

Just over two years ago Michael Jackson died, and as far as we’re aware, this is still the case. The cause of his death was heart failure due to all sorts of drugs sending his body into warp speed. However, it still hasn’t been established who killed him. Jackson disciples are pointing a gloved finger [...]

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Gary Barlow Ejects A Mental Michael Jackson Fan From The X-Factor Auditions

by Matthew Laidlow

Following on from the saga that was American X-Factor and the Cheryl Cole fiasco, some UK residents might have forgotten that the UK’s inferior version is currently auditioning singers. Up and down the country, thousands of club, pub and karaoke performers will attempt to convince that girl out of N-Dubz, the one that stood in [...]

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Aaron Carter Sampled Michael Jackson’s Jesus Juice (And Possibly More)

by Kris Silver

There was a time, not so long ago, when Justin Bieber didn’t exist. It’s hard to believe we know, but it’s true. “But who did you have to provide annoying bubblegum pop that sent tweenage girls hearts a flutter?” We hear you ask. The answer is simple, Aaron Carter. He was the brother of a [...]

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Latoya Jackson Doesn’t Sound Mental When She Says Michael Was Murdered By Shadowy Forces

by Matthew Laidlow

You know what the Jackson family are kinda like? Performing dolphins that entertain crowds of clapping idiots who pay money to see overgrown fish jump through burning hoops. Trainers of dolphins usually use the Joe Jackson guidance method which generally involves beating the creature until it does what you want it to do. Michael Jackson [...]

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Michael Jacksons Impending Perfume Stinks (And Not Of Rotting Corpses)

by Matthew Laidlow

Remarkably, there have been bucket loads of Michael Jackson branded merchandise flying around since his sudden death in 2009. You might go as far as saying that some people are attempting to cash in on his name, not forgetting obvious tie-ins like unreleased tunes, which feature songs deemed not good enough to make original album [...]

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Michael Jackson’s Corpse Still Causing Trouble, This Time With Insurance Company (So Animate Him With Wires)

by Mof Gimmers

Stupid Michael Jackson. He caused trouble for everyone when he was alive, trouble which was unfathomably passed off by fans because he donated a slender portion of his grotesque wealth to charity and, since his death, has caused even more hassle for everyone. When will this horror end? When he’s wasn’t mangling his face to [...]

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