Ding dong the witch is dead sang the Munchkins in the Wizard of Oz when their evil overload melted to death. We don't know if any of the alleged victims of the Michael Jackson touching-up trial sang anything along those lines, but it's genuine fact that Jackson fans consoled themselves via mass weeping sessions, crotch touching and high pitched squeal offs with each other when their hero died.
It's been well documented that Michael Jackson died after going into cardiac arrest in June 2009. Like most daytime TV adverts, there was a blame for how Jackson died, but nobody has yet claimed exactly how.
As it stands, Jackson fanatics are pointing the finger at Dr. Conrad Murray who was appointed as his personal doctor, feeding him all sorts of fun drugs. After what seems forever, a trial has been set for late September where Murray will have to prove his innocence against a jury and protesting Michael Jackson fans around the world, including Inspector Morseland, Oxford.
We never met Michael Jackson and didn't have the opportunity to be seduced by him after drinking Jesus Juice in penis shaped golden goblets. Therefore, we can only go on what information we vaguely know about him. Of course, ?true? Michael Jackson fans know that what ever is printed about the sequined hand is full of lies, but we're pretty confident on the following:
He bought a lot of weird stuff.
Think about it, Michael Jackson was friends with Mohammed Al Fayed, a man who coincidentally owns Harrods in London. Harrods sells overpriced tat, such as paintings which look like they were the work of cattle vomiting on a canvas. Because Jackson was such a regular visitor, he now has a statue outside Fullham FC ground due to being such a good and gullible customer.
Jackson had a few financial difficulties.
It was well known that he suffered with crippling debt. Psycho fans will argue that it's because he spread love and peace to various charities. He also spent money on legal cases and the aforementioned weird stuff.
He really liked drugs
We don't know if Michael Jackson snorted line after line of cocaine, but after becoming a human sparkler following the accident on the Pepsi commercial set, he did need the occasional drug. This is presumably where the painkillers started and where Dr. Conrad Murray got involved.
Because we're not doctors, we generally swallow pills until the pain goes away. Was this Dr. Conrad Murrays approach? Who knows, but it'll no doubt be a basic argument used by Michael Jackson fans who?ll claim he was turned into a quivering zombie creature, but one that could still perform at a series of gigs at London?s mobile phone sponsored arena.
We personally prefer ?moon walking for justice,? but Jackson fanatic Debbie Longshaw wants the Justice For Michael instead. Commenting about the rally, she said:
?Like the rallies in other cities of the world, the Oxford one will be peaceful, with people holding banners showing their love of Michael and also singing his songs.?
Peaceful demonstrations? Well that?ll probably be the case as poor Debbie isn't having much luck in finding anyone in Oxford who listens to Michael Jackson. She said:
?I have been on forums everywhere trying to contact Oxfordshire-based fans, without any luck so far. There must be some out there. I'll be waiting to hear from them.?
Perhaps they all think Jackson is a fucking oddball in Oxford?
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or else we’ll kill you in your sleep or join our Facebook group if anyone is still daft enough to use it or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS OR WE’LL KILL EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER LOVED!
meigadas says
“It
Out of all says
Really you OD fan (optimus diddler – or MJ as you call him or it) haul out the FBI report at the drop of a glass of Jesus juices if it proves a damn thing when in fact it only shows that the FBI traveled to another country and had a delightful vacation and that they didn’t have ENOUGH proof to do something with it. There are more and more former targets coming forward now about mj’s roaming hands. MJ did spread love, according to victims, usually all over his hands.
And I love the human sparkler comment! Lol.
JoeMomma says
Cool, can we charter a crop duster and spray some Agent Orange on them while they gather? It will make the collective IQ of the planet go up a few percent.
Cookie Monster says
Nothing to find, as it was quite obvious. I think that world+dog learned all that they need in seeing the ‘other bedroom’ off of the main raperoom, sorry, bedroom. You know, the one up the stairs lined by stuffed animals. Yes, that one… it makes sense because he was such a humanitarian, obviously.
And, OMG, like, the drugs that the good doctor was positively forcing on poor MJ. If only Hendrix, Moon, Joplin, et al had had such good doctors for their families to sue. That was a different age, wasn’t it? Of course they weren’t fun drugs, you silly twat, as they tend to lead to death when partaken-of in massive amounts. Let me be the first to let you know this: drug addicts have a habit of dropping completely dead due to drugs. LIKE WOW, Scooby, another mystery solved!
bruna MJ says
This thing is ridiculously SITE HAS THE RIGHT TO SPEAK OF MICHAEL JACKSON.
THE UNFORTUNATE IS AN ANIMAL WITHOUT CULTURE able to write so much nonsense and cruelty these SITE.
RESPECT THE MICHAEL!
That’s not fair Enough with Injustice. RESPECT.
Michael is superior to all this nonsense and nonsense that these people invents.
RESPECT!
bruna MJ says
This thing is ridiculously SITE HAS THE RIGHT TO SPEAK OF MICHAEL JACKSON.
THE UNFORTUNATE IS AN ANIMAL WITHOUT CULTURE able to write so much nonsense and cruelty these SITE.
RESPECT THE MICHAEL!
That
JoeMomma says
Nope, not mental all. Perfectly normal.
Wow says
Just…..wow…..
We went from an almost intelligent article to complete nutter in remarkably short order