Want to know a fact? Nicolas Cage is the greatest person to have ever walked the face of the Earth.
Want to know another fact? It’s a very quiet news day. So quiet, in fact, that this is a story about Nicolas Cage switching on the Christmas lights in Bath last night. No, no, we’re selling this short. This is actually a story about Nicolas Cage – a man so AWESOME that he once made a film about a superhero who SETS HIS HEAD ON FIRE AND SOLVES CRIMES – bringing an unparalleled sense of joy to the lives of an entire city.
We envy you, Bath. We really do.