What’s the best thing about Natalie Portman? Her constant determination to take on one challenging role after another?
Her fierce political activism? Her intellectualism? No, you idiots. The best thing about Natalie Portman is probably the way that she looks quite nice when she wears pretty dresses. Look at her, all pretty in a lovely frock. She looks like a fairytale princess. What a lovely, pretty, lovely little princess Natalie Portman is. Why, if she didn’t waste her time by thinking about things so much, she’d be perfect. She’d be our pretty, lovely, lovely little perfect princess in her lovely pretty perfect dress.
Anyway, here’s lovely Natalie Portman in a lovely red dress at the premiere of her new film, which is about swans or something. It doesn’t matter, though, because it’s a good excuse for her to walk up and down in a pretty dress, which is what she’s best at. Not acting. Or thinking. Stupid Natalie Portman.