Posts tagged as:

Money

Dragon’s Den: With Royal Approval

by Jacki Evans

This week’s Dragons Den came with the royal seal of approval. Except that it didn’t. It came with a man who’d sent a board game to the Queen, got a letter of thanks, and then got a bit confused and thought this meant she loved him. And that was just one of the interludes. Actual [...]

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Bad News: Bono’s Heart Isn’t Giving Up On Him

by Mof Gimmers

Everyone had a really good weekend, looking forward to Monday, in the hope that Saint Bono was actually going to die. It looked odds-on too, as he was rushed into a hospital with a heart so heavy about the plight of the third-world, it could no longer continue. But alas, like all great news, it [...]

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Dragon’s Den: It’s Not X Factor (But Still Better Than Big Brother)

by Jacki Evans

This weekend may have been the weekend that all the reality shows returned all at once, but it wasn’t all crazy excitement and Gary Barlow. No, Dragon’s Den was still plodding along on a Sunday night, parading a different class of idiot in front of us. Idiots who think they can invent and do business, [...]

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Abercrombie & Fitch Hate Jersey Shore’s The Situation More Than You Do

by Mof Gimmers

You know Jersey Shore? That’s right – the thing you can blame dreck like Geordie Shore and The Only Way Is Essex on. Well, one of the stars of the show – The Situation – is a monumental penis who has somehow weaselled his way into the VIP section. So all is well? Not quite. [...]

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Dragon’s Den: More Rubbish Than Usual

by Jacki Evans

This week on Dragon’s Den, it was rubbish ideas week. More rubbish than usual, that is. The most exciting idea was a way to solve premature fence failure, which sadly, isn’t nearly as dirty as it sounds. hecklerspray just heard “premature” and got all excited. That’ll teach us. Before we got to the premature boys [...]

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Dragon’s Den: We’ve Just Remembered To Pay Attention

by Jacki Evans

Apparently a new series of Dragon’s Den started last week. hecklerspray wasn’t paying attention though, so whilst the rest of the country was staring in horror at new Dragon Hilary Devey’s face and wondering who she stole it from, we were completely oblivious. But it’s ok, because we’ve caught up now and her face is [...]

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Incredibly Wealthy Linda Evangelista’s Billionaire Baby Daddy Isn’t Paying Child Support

by Mof Gimmers

Remember supermodel Linda Evangelista who wouldn’t get out of bed for less than $10,000? Well she’s having a really rough time at the moment because she’s got a child… and we all know what a drain on the bank account they are, don’t we? See, Linda had a baby and she didn’t manage to make [...]

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Duncan Bannatyne Puts £50,000 Bounty On Man Through Twitter

by Mof Gimmers

We all know that the folks of Dragon’s Den are a ruthless bunch, but did you know they were dead-hearted enough to put bounties on people, asking for their arms to be broken? You may think this is the stuff of fantasy, but it really just happened. See, Duncan Bannatyne – a man who has [...]

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R Kelly Has Emergency Throat Surgery (His Mind’s Telling Him No, But His Tonsils, His Tonsils’ Telling Him Yeaaah)

by Mof Gimmers

If only R Kelly had a bunch of events in his life that we could hang some jokes on. We’ve been wracking our brains here and can’t really think of anything that he’s done which we can mock, apart from some of his desperately awful records, that In The Closet lark and the fact it [...]

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Yoko Ono To Squeeze Every Last Penny Out Of John Lennon’s Fetid Corpse

by Michael Park

Yoko Ono’s not a very nice lady, is she? First she split up The Beatles, then she was responsible for a series of musical abortions with the Plastic Ono band and now she’s going out of her way to sully the memory of her late husband by trying to grind as many shekels out of [...]

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