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A Thank You Note For Metallica

by Ian Dransfield

Being Metallica must be great – you get to be in a metal band for 20-odd years, you get lots of money, you get to tour the world many times over and you get legions of devoted fans. Oh, and you get to be complete and total prannocks about seemingly everything involving the internet, yet [...]

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Britney Spears To Play Role Of Mental Patient

by Paul Sorrenti

According to the Daily Star, Britney Spears has been offered the chance to play Blanche DuBois in an upcoming London stage play of Tennessee Williams’ Streetcar named desire.

You may be wondering why on earth anyone in their right mind would deem Britney Spears an appropriate figure to take on the role of one of America’s all time great femme fatales but, before you get carried away with that thought, just stop to consider a few things:

First of all, Blanche, as all over 50’s and film students know, comes from a small town in Mississippi, and where does Britney come from? That’s right; a small town in Mississippi.

Spooky, huh?

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Madonna Considers Becoming Mayor of London

by Paul Sorrenti

Madonna Considers Being Mayor Of LondonMadonna has said that she will not vote for Ken Livingston at the upcoming London Mayoral elections.

Madonna, as we all know, is a renegade – in both senses of the word.

Indeed, if you were to google the word ‘renegade’, the returning results would probably offer little more than a biog of her maverick career, alongside the likes of Jesse James, Billy the Kid and Mel Gibson.

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Hecklergigs: Stars @ Koko, London 29/1

by Matthew Laidlow

It wasn’t so long ago that we were banging on about Stars in our MySpace Trawl feature. Whilst we’d like to think that it inspired somebody to invest in their music, we couldn’t be quite sure. No banners were on prominent display with slogans such as “Hecklerspray brought us here” and “honk if you like hecklerspray”.

Still you can’t have everything you want in life, but regardless of our own potential ego-boosting propaganda of this band not being recognised, the venue was still rammed to capacity. For those who had never been to the place before, it was a unique little venue. The theatre-style layout presented the perfect viewing platform from nearly every angle. Though if you wanted to be packed in close with your fellow gig-goer, the chance was still there.

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Amy Winehouse Has Another Crack At Rehab

by Stuart Heritage

They tried to make Amy Winehouse go to rehab, but she said n… oh, you’ve already heard that one. Never mind.

Anyway, thanks to the release of that video where Amy Winehouse appears to be inhaling every last atom of crack in the universe through a glass pipe after a mighty big drug binge, Amy’s finally decided to get herself off to rehab for good.

True, Amy Winehouse does already have one unsuccessful rehab stint under her belt, but she’s learnt her lesson with this rehab – this one’s in central London and not on a private island, so she won’t have to wait for a helicopter when she inevitably sacks it off and goes down the pub.

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The Hills Have Music, Not Eyes

by hecklerspray staff

Bursting out into song in the cinema is no longer socially unacceptable.

We at hecklerspray are always looking for new and exciting things to entertain us. And we’ve found something that is in fact not new, but it is very exciting – Sing-A-Long Sound of Music is currently playing at the Prince Charles’ Cinema in Leicester Square, London.

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Michael Jackson To Inhabit Arena For 30 Days

by C J Davies

When hecklerspray saw 30 Days Of Night last year, we had to admit that we found it a little creepy.

After all, the idea of being surrounded by rat-faced violent sociopaths for an entire month is something that should send a shiver down the spine of any right-thinking human being. Unless, of course, you live anywhere near Wigan, in which case that’s just business as usual all year round.

Still – there’s actually one thing that unsettles us more than spending 30 days in the company of bloodsucking vampires, and that’s spending 30 days in the company of ‘unique’ pop star Michael Jackson. Note: this fear isn’t particularly based on any of his face-falling-apart, dangling-babies-over-balconies habits, but more to do with the fact that he might try singing Heal The World at us over and over again.

You’ve gotta feel sorry, then, for the O2 Arena. For it’s looking very likely that Jacko is all set to fly over to the UK and perform a 30 day stint. A bit like Prince did, except that everyone going to see him only really paid attention to the popular eighties stuff and politely ignored the rest.

Hang on…

When hecklerspray saw 30 Days Of Night last year, we had to admit that we found it a little creepy. After all, the idea of being surrounded by rat-faced violent sociopaths for an entire month is something that should send a shiver down the spine of any right-thinking human being. Unless, of course, you live anywhere near Wigan, in which case that's just business as usual all year round. Still - there's actually one thing that unsettles us more than spending 30 days in the company of bloodsucking vampires, and that's spending 30 days in the company of 'unique' pop star Michael Jackson. Note: this fear isn't particularly based on any of his face-falling-apart, dangling-babies-over-balconies habits, but more to do with the fact that he might try singing Heal The World at us over and over again. You've gotta feel sorry, then, for the O2 Arena. For it's looking very likely that Jacko is all set to fly over to the UK and perform a 30 day stint. A bit like Prince did, except that everyone going to see him only really paid attention to the popular eighties stuff and politely ignored the rest. Hang on...
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Spice Girls Drag Their Kids Onstage

by Stuart Heritage

The Spice Girls gave something rather special to their audience this week – no, Geri Halliwell didn’t do the decent thing and cover herself up for once, but the Spice Girls all brought their children onstage.

During their performance of Mama at the O2 arena in London on Tuesday night, it’s been reported that most of the Spice Girls brought their children onstage to say hello to the thousands of buyerless eBay touts who make up their audience these days. In the middle of the song Victoria Beckham, Mel B and Emma Bunton all brought their kids out on stage. In fact, the only Spice Girl mother not to introduce her child to the audience was Geri Halliwell, for fear that the effect of 20,000 people all derisively going “pffft” at the same time after hearing the name Bluebell Madonna would knock over a lighting rig or flip the stage upside down or something.

The Spice Girls gave something rather special to their audience this week - no, Geri Halliwell didn't do the decent thing and cover herself up for once, but the Spice Girls all brought their children onstage. During their performance of Mama at the O2 arena in London on Tuesday night, it's been reported that most of the Spice Girls brought their children onstage to say hello to the thousands of buyerless eBay touts who make up their audience these days. In the middle of the song Victoria Beckham, Mel B and Emma Bunton all brought their kids out on stage. In fact, the only Spice Girl mother not to introduce her child to the audience was Geri Halliwell, for fear that the effect of 20,000 people all derisively going "pffft" at the same time after hearing the name Bluebell Madonna would knock over a lighting rig or flip the stage upside down or something.
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David Gest Has ‘Heart Attack’

by Stuart Heritage

It’s being reported that I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here star and ex-husband of Liza Minnelli David Gest has been rushed to hospital with chest pains and respiratory problems, leading to fears that he’s suffered a heart attack.

Apparently David Gest was rushed to a private London hospital early this morning, where his condition is now being described as stable. According to David Gest’s spokeswoman:

“At 5.30am, David Gest was admitted to hospital, after suffering from severe chest pains and respiratory problems. David is stable and receiving the best medical attention. We are awaiting a further update from doctors.”

Hopefully this means that this supposed heart attack wasn’t a serious one, and that David Gest will be able to return to his job producing the inexplicable touring stage-based autobiography David Gest Is Nuts – My Life as a Musical starring Shalamar and Gloria Gaynor.

However, we can’t help feeling that fate is starting to punish anyone who attended David Gest and Liza Minnelli’s wedding back in 2002. First Liza Minnelli collapses and falls off a stage and now David Gest is rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack. That means it’s the turn of the bridesmaids next – quick, someone call Martine McCutcheon and tell her to hide herself safely in a cupboard away from the public eye for about 70 or 80 years.

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David Gest Rushed To Hospital – Metro

It's being reported that I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here star and ex-husband of Liza Minnelli David Gest has been rushed to hospital with chest pains and respiratory problems, leading to fears that he's suffered a heart attack. Apparently David Gest was rushed to a private London hospital early this morning, where his condition is now being described as stable. According to David Gest's spokeswoman: "At 5.30am, David Gest was admitted to hospital, after suffering from severe chest pains and respiratory problems. David is stable and receiving the best medical attention. We are awaiting a further update from doctors." Hopefully this means that this supposed heart attack wasn't a serious one, and that David Gest will be able to return to his job producing the inexplicable touring stage-based autobiography David Gest Is Nuts - My Life as a Musical starring Shalamar and Gloria Gaynor. However, we can't help feeling that fate is starting to punish anyone who attended David Gest and Liza Minnelli's wedding back in 2002. First Liza Minnelli collapses and falls off a stage and now David Gest is rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack. That means it's the turn of the bridesmaids next - quick, someone call Martine McCutcheon and tell her to hide herself safely in a cupboard away from the public eye for about 70 or 80 years. Read more: David Gest Rushed To Hospital - Metro
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