People of London, pin up your bunting! Roll out your barrels of Jesus Juice! Cover the eyes of your squeamish young! Michael Jackson’s coming to town!
And it’s all thanks to that sheik’s lawsuit that threatens to push Michael Jackson into permanent financial ruin. According to reports, Michael Jackson will fly to London next week to give his testimony in the case that literally everyone’s calling ‘about the millionth Michael Jackson lawsuit of the last couple of years, and certainly one of the most dreary’.
But you know what this means? This means that if Michael Jackson’s going to court then the old Michael Jackson lookalike used in the TV coverage of his child molestation trial will get some work that doesn’t involve starring in adverts about the dangers of being hit in the face with a firework or being a scarecrow for once! This must be the happiest day of that particular Michael Jackson impersonator’s life.
Michael Jackson has a special history with London. It’s London that usually gets chosen as the venue for Michael Jackson’s eternally-delayed comeback concert even though not a single person on the planet believes it’ll ever happen.
It was London where Michael Jackson gave his now iconic ‘three lines of We Are The World and a sharp exit‘ performance of 2006. And, most fondly of all, it was London where Michael Jackson was allegedly caught jumping around on a hotel bed dressed as Mickey Mouse accompanied by several children in Peter Pan costumes a few weeks after being acquitted of child molestation. Ah, the memories.
And now it’s been reported that Michael Jackson is due to return to London next week, although sadly for something that doesn’t conjure up as many bone-chilling mental images – his lawsuit.
Remember Sheikh Abdulla bin Hamad Al Khalifa, the man suing Michael Jackson because he apparently gave Michael Jackson millions of dollars and let him live in his house on the proviso that they made an album together? Well, he’s called Michael Jackson to court to defend himself, as Reuters reports:
Singer Michael Jackson plans to testify next week in a British court in a lawsuit brought against him by a Bahrain prince, Jackson’s lawyer said on Thursday. “Mister Jackson is intending to travel to this country…and will be available to give evidence to your lordship,” Jackson’s lawyer Robert Englehart told the British High Court in London. The singer is expected to take the witness stand on Monday.
Now, don’t get your hopes up. Michael Jackson has already tried to wriggle out of the court appearance once by claiming that he was too ill, and Monday is a long way off yet – in Michael Jackson’s world that’s enough time to catch six or seven new illnesses, to be hit with about 400 new lawsuits and for a large percentage of his face to slip away from his skull like a sort of gruesome melting icecap. His court appearance is nothing like a dead cert yet.
But Michael Jackson would be a fool not to come to London. Not only does the court need to hear his side of the argument – that he assumed everything the sheik lavished on him was a gift – but also, if he does lose the case and end up penniless, he’ll be nice and close to King’s Cross. And if he wants to rebuild his fortune anywhere, he’ll find that wanking off drunk businessmen in an alleyway for pennies is probably the best way to start.
Tonia Harnwell says
Micheal jackson has a lot of fans! and when i say a lot i mean a lot and i am one of his fans!
i don’t care what everyone thinks it aint true! and how dare you say all that rubbish about him!
Like other people he the sheikh wants his money! just like that perfetic little boy!
I think all you papers and new people are perfetic you can’t write true facts you make a load of rubbish up and publish it! well why don’t you publish this make me famous and then i will get suid like micheal jackson for something that i aint done! write true facts and grow up your just making enemies here loves!!!!
Julian Mentat says
I have yet to see a Michael Jackson fan who can spell.
Maggie says
What a stupid article. AGAIN.. why is it assumed that Michael Jackson is guilty of spending the guys money, before it has been proven.. wait and see before you judge. But I guess innocent untill proven guilty ones again doesn’t apply to MJ…
Julian Mentat.. what a nice comment.. very useful.. baaah
Gilbert Wham says
He’s right though, isn’t he? You get bonus points for crazy-person misuse of ellipses, a particular bugbear of mine. Tell me, do you write all your letters in green ink?
Julian Mentat says
Thank you Maggie, and it’s O-N-C-E
michael jackson lover says
Why u say that bull crap about him?!?! God. He is a great person and 4 the record I bet he looked pretty dang sexy dressed up like mickey mouse.
taylor morden says
i agree, Micheal is awesome. he couldn’t have done it. just because he is a celb, people think he would do that.
taylor morden says
why would anyone think he would do that? would this have happened if he wasn’t famice? if i were that guy sueing him, i would be so ashamed and tell every one what crap i spred.that’s my story, and i’m sticking to it.