The world held its breath last night for Michael Jackson's comeback performance at the World Music Awards. Was Michael Jackson really going to get it together enough to sing all of Thriller in front of an audience of one billion people?
What do you think? This is Michael Jackson we're talking about – a man who'd probably have trouble making good on a promise to breath in an out. So, at last night's World Music Awards in London, Michael Jackson didn't give the reputation-repairing, attention-grabbing performance of Thriller that was promised. Instead, Michael Jackson – a man currently most famous for being accused of touching up boys in court – wheezed out a few half-hearted lines of We Are The World. Surrounded by children. We know; aside from him getting wasted on Jesus Juice and masturbating to porn in the middle eight, it's hard to imagine how Michael Jackson could have ballsed his comeback up any more isn't it?
Michael Jackson doesn't have a reputation as the most reliable man on the planet. When Michael Jackson moved to Bahrain he forgot to pay all the staff looking after Neverland. When Michael Jackson's animals got sick, he didn't pay the vet bills until he was sued. When Michael Jackson hired lawyers, he didn't answer his phone until they quit. And when Michael Jackson said he'd make a Hurricane Katrina benefit record … well, we haven't seen one yet, have you?
But Michael Jackson's appearance at the World Music Awards last night was supposed to be different. It was supposed to be the moment where Michael Jackson put all the worries of his kiddy-fiddling allegation-filled past behind him and reminded people once and for all why people called him The King Of Pop and made a film about him where he turned into a car and stuff. Michael Jackson was going to perform Thriller at the World Music Awards last night – the iconic title song from the biggest-selling album of all time performed in front of one of the largest global audiences ever. If that didn't mark Michael Jackson's comeback then nothing would. Surely – surely – Michael Jackson would have realised the importance of this and tried hard to to arse it up, right?
Wrong! Instead of wowing a billion people with a reminder of one of his finest hours, Michael Jackson instead absent-mindedly mumbled through a few lines of cheesy charity fluff-fest We Are The World with some kids and then wandered off. E! Online reports:
Somewhat placating the devoted fans who came out Wednesday just to hear the erstwhile King of Pop perform "Thriller" at the World Music Awards in London, Jackson instead took to the stage accompanied by a big group of children and sang an abbreviated version of "We Are the World." Standing in for Tina Turner, Bob Dylan, Stevie Wonder, et al., the swaying, clapping kids surrounded Jackson as he offered up a few verses of the hit 1985 ballad before accepting the evening's Diamond Award, given to artists who have sold 100 million-plus records. "There have been so many people who have loved me and stood by me," Jackson said. "I love all the fans from the bottom of my heart."
But then, what did you expect? Well Thriller, obviously, that's a dumb question. But we can't decide whether all of these constant Michael Jackson let-downs are a blessing or a curse. On the one hand, Michael Jackson's total inability to perform an entire song on a stage makes us think that his new Black Eyed Peas-y album may never see the light of day. Tragically this might also mean that the album of funky duets between Michael Jackson and The Pope might also go a similar way, and that's something we just can't face right now.
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Mel says
I don’t know why the press are getting in a hissy fit over this. Especially when they claim the audience booed Jackson. I was actually in the audience and the only person to be booed was Lindsay Lohan for her awful AWFUL presenting. As far as the performances, the audience couldn’t hear anything. The sound was that bad.
The entire show was a shambles with anyone with standing tickets being kept in a bloomin’ hot basement by security for over 5 hours without food or water.