Articles tagged with: Hugh Hefner
Criss Angel Pulls A Playboy Bunny Out Of His Pants
Now we know why Holly Madison dumped Hugh Hefner - he didn't dress enough like a Poundstretcher My Chemical Romance. But you know who does? Criss Angel, the magician who'd be just like David Blaine if only David Blaine a) did magic tricks any more and b) constantly walked around in clothes that made him look like an emo weekend dad having a chronic mid-life crisis regardless of how much of a ridiculous tithole everyone thinks he is. But Criss Angel must be doing something right, because he's Holly Madison's new boyfriend. Word has it that Criss Angel ensnared Madison by performing a number of magic tricks that Hugh Hefner could never do, like running up the stairs, doing the Can-Can and getting an erection unaided. But can Criss Angel doze off in an armchair in the afternoon while doing some gentle Sudoku? No he can't - Hefner will always have that.
Now we know why Holly Madison dumped Hugh Hefner - he didn't dress enough like a Poundstretcher My Chemical Romance. But you know who does? Criss Angel, the magician who'd be just like David Blaine if only David Blaine a) did magic tricks any more and b) constantly walked around in clothes that made him look like an emo weekend dad having a chronic mid-life crisis regardless of how much of a ridiculous tithole everyone thinks he is. But Criss Angel must be doing something right, because he's Holly Madison's new boyfriend. Word has it that Criss Angel ensnared Madison by performing a number of magic tricks that Hugh Hefner could never do, like running up the stairs, doing the Can-Can and getting an erection unaided. But can Criss Angel doze off in an armchair in the afternoon while doing some gentle Sudoku? No he can't - Hefner will always have that.
Hugh Hefner Splits Up With Generic Blonde Booby-Model
Good news, girls - Hugh Hefner, the richest, sexiest, most prolifically sleazy frail old doddery 82-year-old man on Earth, is single again. Apparently Hugh Hefner has been dumped his number one girlfriend Holly Madison - a woman 54 years younger than him who looks like she was reared in a battery-farm for titty bimbos - and all because Hugh refused to marry her. Touchingly, Hugh Hefner seems quite sad about the split. There's no need for him to be - after all, he shouldn't forget the old saying 'there are plenty more opportunistic young women who've mutilated their bodies for the sake of beauty that are willing to fellate a very old man even though it clearly disgusts them on the off-chance that he'll write them into his will and make them rich when he dies'. Um, 'in the sea'.
Good news, girls - Hugh Hefner, the richest, sexiest, most prolifically sleazy frail old doddery 82-year-old man on Earth, is single again. Apparently Hugh Hefner has been dumped his number one girlfriend Holly Madison - a woman 54 years younger than him who looks like she was reared in a battery-farm for titty bimbos - and all because Hugh refused to marry her. Touchingly, Hugh Hefner seems quite sad about the split. There's no need for him to be - after all, he shouldn't forget the old saying 'there are plenty more opportunistic young women who've mutilated their bodies for the sake of beauty that are willing to fellate a very old man even though it clearly disgusts them on the off-chance that he'll write them into his will and make them rich when he dies'. Um, 'in the sea'.
Hugh Hefner: Hey Miley Cyrus, Get Naked For Playboy
Now that you've seen part of her back and about a third of one of her bras, Miley Cyrus is a certified sex object. What? Miley Cyrus is only 15? Well, um, obviously we were joking about that sex object bit. The supple, milky-white backs of teenage girls are so disgusting to us that we think they should all be burnt with flaming torches. But Playboy's Hugh Hefner has another idea. You can probably guess what it involves. That's right - Hefner has asked Miley Cyrus to appear naked in Playboy. But don't worry, because Miley Cyrus won't be getting naked for Playboy until she's 18, the age where people immediately stop having moral objections to teenage nudity. Until then, though, it looks like you'll just have to wait until the inevitable Miley Cyrus naked internet photos. Perverts.
Now that you've seen part of her back and about a third of one of her bras, Miley Cyrus is a certified sex object. What? Miley Cyrus is only 15? Well, um, obviously we were joking about that sex object bit. The supple, milky-white backs of teenage girls are so disgusting to us that we think they should all be burnt with flaming torches. But Playboy's Hugh Hefner has another idea. You can probably guess what it involves. That's right - Hefner has asked Miley Cyrus to appear naked in Playboy. But don't worry, because Miley Cyrus won't be getting naked for Playboy until she's 18, the age where people immediately stop having moral objections to teenage nudity. Until then, though, it looks like you'll just have to wait until the inevitable Miley Cyrus naked internet photos. Perverts.
