The 68th annual Golden Globes happened last night and, once again, hecklerspray‘s invite was lost in the post despite having previous when it comes to getting hold of really pure cocaine for very competitive and good prices.
Maybe we have to pretend to be Scientologists or something? Either way, we weren’t there, which means we have to rely on hearsay and reports. Please note – the former doesn’t mean we got a text from Suzanne Shaw, now starring in Emmerdale.
Anyway, apart from the winners, which no-one really cares about, the big story of the show focused on the host, Ricky Gervais who reminded us all that, sometimes, Americans don’t understand humour. Or they don’t find English people funny. One of the two.
The ceremony was buzzing with questions as Gervais went missing for nearly an hour.Rumours abounded that, after going in for the jugular almost from the off, Ricky had been fired backstage by the bosses of the show. Some idiots even speculated that he’d been taken to a parking lot and shot through the face with a great big gun (not that America has a fixation and problem with guns. God no. Not them. Or Sarah Palin. Guns don’t kill people – the bullets that guns fire into human flesh, do).
Anyway, Gervais kicked things off by ravaging Charlie Sheen, Scientology, Mel Gibson, Lost and Hugh Hefner. He also introduced Bruce Willis as “Ashton Kutcher’s dad”. The wag. He also joked that he had to help president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, Philip Berk, to go to the toilet and “put his teeth back in”. We bet he was thrilled, especially as Gervais made jokes about them accepting bribes.
What did anyone expect? A nice, safe routine? Either way, what everyone got wasn’t too far from the level of comedic abuse you see at a Comedy Roast.
After pulling everyone’s noses, Gervais then vanished, leaving people to speculate about him being sacked or killed. Either would have been a good story to write this morning (in the case of the latter, a really brilliant story, once you’d got past the ‘tragedy’ element of it).
When Gervais returned to the fore, it was clear he wasn’t dead, however, observers muttered that he looked rather subdued, with the always pleasant and reasonable Piers Morgan (America – we’re sorry for him, okay?) noting that Gervais looked “haunted”.
So what did they do to him backstage? Suffice to say, whatever happened didn’t make Ricky Gervais laugh because, well, lets face it, if he did laugh, he would have woken the whole world up with it because, as you know, he’s got the loudest, most irritating chortle in the universe.
Either way, despite being rather funny (what? Praise from hecklerspray?), it certainly appears that Gervais won’t get a third stab at hosting the show. Next year, brace yourself for a routine from someone from the ever-appalling Big Bang Theory or something.
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jp says
Having watched the whole show, Gervais was deeply unfunny and tiresome. Taking shots at Mel Gibson (how original 2 years later!) and a string of disrespectful rubbish. What Gervais seems to forget – that although he did create the brilliant ‘Office’ that was 10 years ago and since then he has had a stream of unfunny film flops. His 15mins are most definitely up.
max folica says
LOOK at Angelina’s eyes…totally lifted !
andy de niro says
Gervaiz was pure comedy gold. It was priceless seeing the look of horror on many of these paper thin celebs. Many just need to learn how to take a joke especially with some of their previous behaviour/s. Hypocrites the lot of them.
i need a website says
I thought Ricky Gervais was hilarious, last night. Although I have to say I am dissapointied in the winners last night. Glee won for best comedy series, seriously? It feels like I am one of the few people in the world ho HATES Glee. And while Jim Parsons probably deserved his award for best actor, I really wanted Steve Carell to win since this is his last season.
Cookie Monster says
I didn’t watch the show, and am not sure that I ever have, but I will provide my theory, for the official record (that’s what is done on this site). He had a slight mix-up between his coke and heroin. John Travolta was in the room with Ricky to give him the gears about Scientology jokes. Thinking that Tom Cruise’s instruction of, “Take care of this thing with Ricky” may be, in retrospect, misunderstood by nearby audience members, Johnny panicked. He jumped in his classic car and headed straight to Eric Stoltz’s house. After some comincal arguements about something or other, Ricky got a large syringe of adrenaline straight to the heart. A quick drive back to the awards show, et voila!
spoon says
Gervais is a tool… complete and utter idiot without a decent joke to his name. Otter than being ‘popular’ for acting a dickhead in the Office he has quite literally done nothing.
Now, i am not one to mollycoddle the Hollywood glitterati, but Gervais went a bit overboard in the lampooning. Making jokes out of personal issues is low, even if it is about folks in the public eye. He should get over himself .
dave says
You know what HecklerSpray?? I have visited your site for a while now and have had many a merry chortle in the process, your teasing of the likes of Justin Bieber, Michael Jackson, Muse and all the other celebrities has really had me laughing at times.
But not today.
Today you went to far.
I’m a fan of The Big Bang Theory, now I know how these other nincompoops who carry on in the comments section feel, whether its the MJ fans having a cry or the Muse fans have a sook (cause you know, sooking is SO rock n roll), and now I’m a nincompoop too. Thank you HecklerSpray for turning me into on of THEM!!!
Also I’m amused that the spell check recognises nincompoop, but in real English (not the fake American one) recognise is spelled with an ‘s’ not a ‘z’ and the spell check doesn’t know that. PISS OFF YOU SQUIGGLY RED LINES AND LEARN ENGLISH BEFORE YOU TRY TELLING ME I’M WRONG!!! I’LL KILL YOU!!!!!
dave says
In my last comment at one point I wrote I was amused, that should read I’m NOT amused. Goddamn spell check got me so mad grammar going shit AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE IT IS AGAIN ON AHHH PISS OFF YOU RED LINE!!!!!!!
Peatree Bojangles says
Ricky Gervais doesn’t have the most irritating laugh, Jimmy Carr does. The hapless bastard.