First the good news – there’s a Grey’s Anatomy sex tape. Now the bad news – it stars nobody you’ve ever heard of.
Unless you watch Grey’s Anatomy, that is. In which case you have our sympathies. Anyway, this Grey’s Anatomy sex tape stars none other than Eric Dane, who apparently plays someone called Mark Sloan, along with his wife and a former Miss United States Teen winner.
However, don’t get your hopes up too much, because everyone in the sex tape is too mumbling to themselves on drugs to actually have any sex. Also, his wife is sort of ugly.
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As a Grey’s Anatomy cast member, Katherine Heigl was essentially paid to stare into the middle distance and weep.
It was a good gig. Standing around whining about relationships with a variety of people who should probably be somewhere else performing emergency surgery on a child is about as easy as it gets, acting-wise. And yet, thanks to her stupid mouth, Katherine Heigl apparently upset the Grey’s Anatomy producers so much that they planned to kill her off.
Except now Katherine Heigl wants to stay on Grey’s Anatomy. That’s good news for Katherine Heigl and, um… oh, just Katherine Heigl.
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TR Knight and Katherine Heigl were the Bonnie and Clyde of Grey’s Anatomy. Or the Fred and Rose West. We can never decide which.
TR Knight and Katherine Heigl did everything together – they got their Grey’s Anatomy co-stars fired together, they relentlessly bitched about what a chore Grey’s Anatomy was together, and now they’re both leaving together, according to co-star James Pickens, Jr.
What of TR Knight and Katherine Heigl post-Grey’s Anatomy? Well – since one’s a gay man and the other is an impossibly hard to like woman – maybe a Will & Grace-style sitcom about, let’s say, two failed actors.
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You know how everything that happens behind the scenes of Grey’s Anatomy is infinitely more interesting than anything on the actual show?
Yeah, we should probably put that rumour to bed now. As it turns out, not everything that happens offscreen on Grey’s Anatomy is interesting. Like Melissa George‘s decision to leave the show, for example.
Melissa George isn’t leaving Grey’s Anatomy because she had a fight with a co-star, or because she’s a screaming homophobe, or because she’s a prissy diva who wanted more screentime. Melissa George is leaving Grey’s Anatomy because she wants to. Frankly we expected more.
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As everybody knows, although onscreen Grey’s Anatomy can be almost fatally tedious, off-screen Grey’s Anatomy is brilliant.
You want a comparison? OK. Onscreen, the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy revolved around a bunch of doctors wondering who’d be asked to perform some surgery on a patient. For approximately the billionth time.
But off-screen? Off-screen the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy revolved around dollop-faced actor TR Knight throwing the mother of all strops and walking off the show because nobody’s giving him the attention that he obviously deserves. See – which one would you watch? Oh, neither? Actually, us too.
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Every TV show has its weakness – for 24 it’s believability, for Heroes it’s how rubbish it is and for Grey’s Anatomy it’s homosexuality.
Having just clawed its way out of the last gayness-related snafu it managed to stagger into, Grey’s Anatomy has inexplicably managed to slam into another one by ditching a lesbian love plot midway through, firing one of the actresses involved and fixing the other one up so that she isn’t gay any more.
What is it with Grey’s Anatomy? It’s almost as if it wants all gay people to stop watching it. And if that happened it’d probably be the end of Grey’s Anatomy, because its remaining audience demographics – the elderly, the bed-bound, the narcoleptic and the stupid – don’t really play as well with advertisers.
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Some people are just never happy now, are they? Especially when they’re called Katherine Heigl, it would seem.
For she who whines about everything in the world ever has seen fit to now whine about the thing that probably affects her worst of all. Yes, Katherine Heigl is complaining about Katherine Heigl.
Not in the same way hecklerspray has complained though, oh no – Katherine doesn’t like how she seems to have forgotten her religion, and she feels that she should be paying more attention to her spiritual side as a result.
If paying attention to the Mormon belief system she was raised with means that she might actually shut up for once, then we’re all for it. Maybe she’ll learn to stop whining too? It does seem to be something that only a god could accomplish, after all.
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Katherine Heigl is well known for violently hating everything she’s ever been involved with, to which the logical answer is obviously death.
That was thought to be the reasoning of the Grey’s Anatomy team, anyway – sick of listening to Katherine Heigl bitch on about everything all the time like the dreadful donkeymouth she certainly appears to be, rumour had it that they were going to kill her character off in the most painful, degrading, mean-spirited way possible.
Sadly that’s not the case. An ABC bigwig has come forward to publicly declare that Katherine Heigl is going to live forever, more or less. On Grey’s Anatomy, at least – for all we know someone might push a piano out of a helicopter onto Katherine Heigl’s head tomorrow. By the way, if that actually happens, we had nothing to do with it. We looked into it and helicopters are impractically expensive.
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