Posts tagged as:

Grammys

Justin Bieber Goes Camping To Surpress Crippling Loneliness And Get Eaten By Bears

by Mof Gimmers

What do you do when you’re feeling lonely? If you’ve got a partner away on business, the easiest thing to do is go camping and shit in a hedge. Right? We say that because this is precisely what Justin Bieber has decided to do while Selena Gomez is away with work. The foetal singing sensation [...]

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Lady GaGa Isn’t Exploiting Gays, Rather, Setting Up An Army To Take Over The World

by Mof Gimmers

Stand up for the gays and you get accused of being a gay yourself. That’s the law of the schoolyard. However, when you’re massively famous and acknowledge that you don’t mind which gender you have sex with, the catcalls need to be shifted slightly. So, in the instance that accusing Lady GaGa of being a [...]

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Selena Gomez Doesn’t Care What You Idiot Bieber Fans Think! Do Your Worst If You Like!

by Mof Gimmers

Ever since Selena Gomez started getting her training bra felt up by pop-infant, Justin Bieber, she’s been ridden roughshod by the absolutely terrifying and insane Beliebers who took it upon themselves to send her blood-curdling death threats. Some threatened to ‘cut her a Chelsea Smile’, with others saying they were going to sneak into her [...]

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Lady GaGa Accused Of Stealing From The Corpses Of Japan

by Mof Gimmers

Lady Gaga has been praised for raising awareness for relief efforts in sorting Japan out after the dreadful tsunami that struck the country down. However, like the world’s most weirdly dressed graverobber, she’s been accused of pocketing a load of money that should’ve gone to blighted country. Less Bad Romance and more bad finance. Sorry. [...]

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Monstrous Justin Bieber Flirts With Nicki Minaj Which Will Thrill Selena Gomez No End

by Mof Gimmers

Nicki Minaj is an attractive woman. She’s like a cartoon with a great rack. Sadly, her music isn’t nearly as brilliantly odd as her image. We wanted a female Outkast and got the rap Cyndi Lauper. Shame. Anyway, we’re pretty sure that Nicki Minaj is bisexual, meaning that she’s lucky enough to take her pick [...]

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Selena Gomez In Burger Murder Plot

by Mof Gimmers

As well you know, our generation narrowly missed ‘a JFK moment’ as Selena Gomez was RUSHED into hospital with a HEADACHE and a UPSET TUMSY WUMSY. Basically, she could’ve died and all you lot could do was laugh because you’re heartless swine. So what was the cause of this massive terminal ailment which nearly saw [...]

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Selena Gomez Was ‘Malnourished And Exhausted’ In A Wickle Cutesy Wutesy Way

by Mof Gimmers

Selena Gomez has been all poorly-woorly in hospital after being subjected to death-threats for Beliebers for months, as well as working her tiny little fingers to the bone in what is ostensibly one half of the most famous child-labour ring on Earth. Of course, the newspapers love Selena. They like showing pictures of her in [...]

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Eminem Talks About Lady GaGa’s Penis Roughly Two Years After Everyone Else

by Mof Gimmers

Remember when Eminem was kinda vital to have around? He made records that didn’t rely on funk breaks and effectively spat out a mixture of awkward confessionals and comedy skits, rather than focusing on displays of wealth and success. Not that his albums were very good mind you. And then, of course, he went mental [...]

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Selena Gomez Is Rushed To A Children’s Ward With A Poorly Tum Tum And Infant Headaches

by Mof Gimmers

With Demi Lovato being heaped with universal sympathy and attention after self-harming her way to the doctors, Selena Gomez has clearly thought she’d get in on the whole hospital action. She’s either a fan of the smell of disinfectant or she has to come up with inventive way of getting a break from Justin Bieber [...]

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Justin Bieber Wins Something Or Other At The Tasteful MTV Movie Awards

by Mof Gimmers

Remember when MTV almost fooled us all into thinking it was genuinely cool? The station broke music acts and rode the tide of teenage taste, helping Nirvana to become global superstars and giving European kids their scant taste of hip-hop with Yo! MTV Raps! And then it stopped bothering with the music and made stars [...]

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