Selena Gomez may be stupid enough to stay with Justin Bieber (who seems more than happy to have her be on the receiving end of a load of death threats and, rumour has it, likes cheating on her too), but she’s certainly not daft enough to marry him.
See, Gomez obviously wants to listen to that nagging voice in the back of her mind that says “why yes, you are going out with an ogre of an infant… but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t rinse him for money, gifts and reflected fame”.
That’s because, despite her wholly miserable co-existence with the warbling newborn, he does nice things like treating her to trips to Disneyland (where he was probably mistaken for Boo from Monsters Inc.) and constantly fiddles with her training bra while gurgling sexy noises. But marriage? Don’t be silly.
Hilariously, it appears that Gomez is waiting for a real man.
She’s not getting married to the Biebster because she wants to have sex with Transformers actor and Megan Fox marriage wrecker, Shia LaBeouf.
Speaking about LaBeouf, Selena admitted:
“I was so happy when I saw Shia. I was so star-struck. He probably thinks I'm crazy and I probably made a fool out of myself, but I love him. I have literally been obsessed with him since I was 15.?
?Shia?s older than me, so I look up to him. I don't want to marry him, though!?
So purely physical then? Impressive. It seems that Selena is yearning for someone to come along and present themselves to satisfy her needs when she becomes legal… and she’s right to do so because, when that time comes, Bieber will invariably still be forming a solid fontanelle and shouting “MOMMY! I DONE A POOP MOMMY!”
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dionne says
its a real shame that while Jutsin will still be here in our hearts in 20 years time, you mog immers will not (what a stupid name! how many poeple will be calling there children justin? many more than will call it mog!) . id likie to see you trying the same tired HAHAH JUSTIN IS ONLY A BABBY when he is adult, you on the otherhand will be the wearing the diapers you silly pathetic little man
Cookie Monster says
dionne, I can only assume that your executive assistant is a complete failure. I am sure that you dictated a perfectly coherent, well structured, and sensible response to this Hecklerscrunch post. How it was so mangled, as though translated by the Google from human to retarded Klingon and then back to English via a long series of madly gesticulating deaf and shortsighted babblefish at a distance is beyond me. Seriously, get a new assistant to type your comments, maybe one equipped with more than a single finger that is shaped like a cock, and a consistent run of drool, to type with.
Unless that is really you “xpresion yowsuwf @ mog fimmers”.
Bea says
This was weak. I may not be a Bieber fan, but this was stupid, poorly written, and just plain boring to read.
Mangosta says
It’s hard not to feel moved, even ashamed after that brilliantly articulate comment.
Daniel.Z says
dionne, when is justin bieber going to be an adult? did you write this comments your self or some one did (for you) you silly pathetic big man. what do you do for in life, that you are so much writting this about a 17 years old boy.