Posts tagged as:

Glee

Madonna To Perform Super Bowl XLVI Half Time To Distract Everyone From Disgusting Hot Dogs In The Bleachers

by Mof Gimmers

She might hate hydrangeas, but she sure loves people throwing stupidly shaped balls around! That’s right folks! Madonna is totally going to be the halftime distraction at the next Super Bowl, or Super Bowl XLVI if you can’t count in English. The Material Girl (we’re forced to use that description by law) will clutter up [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Bored Hollywood Executives To Remake ‘Point Break’ With Worst Film Writer On Earth

by Michael Park

It is a truth passed down from generation to generation amongst Hollywood’s glittering elite. There’s no reason to make something if you can remake something. Hollywood film executives are willing to remake or reboot any film or franchise in the pursuit of artistic fulfilment*. From tat like The Day The Earth Stood Still to horror [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Stupid Madonna Makes Funny Hydrangeas Video To Make Us Look Like Hysterical Idiots

by Mof Gimmers

Madonna. Stupid, canny, very bright Madonna. You can throw what you like at her, but like a wily old street fighter, she ducks and weaves before whupping your ass with a bike chain while your back is turned. The swine. See, after the hydrangea debacle, we all flung handfuls of faeces at her and hooted [...]

3 comments Read more >>>

X Factor Review, Week 4 – Part 2 Fast, 2 Furious

by Sophie Hall

Right. RIGHT. So, the X Factor is still on. Here are the opening titles. Here’s Dermot O Leary’s voice hurriedly aired in from Skype. It’s time to face the music. No, not time to face the music and dance. You are mistaken. Just time to face the music.  Just maintain eye contact with the music [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Disgusting Floral Gifts For Ungrateful Madonna

by Mof Gimmers

Madonna is so far removed from society, that even small gifts from us plebs make her angry. Gestures are just not enough, as we’re supposed to know exactly what she likes or else we’ll incur her stupid, pointless wrath. We saw this yesterday on these pages as she turned her aged nose up at a [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Gwyneth Paltrow Will Have An Affair On Chris Martin At Some Point

by Mof Gimmers

Imagine waking up every morning and seeing Coldplay’s Chris Martin lying there in his hemp pyjamas, gurgling while he dreams about drawing another slogan on his hand which will end world hunger. It’s little wonder then, that Gwyneth Paltrow has conducted an interview saying that she “respects and admires” people who have conducted extra-marital affairs. [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Madonna Hates You And Your Stupid, Stupid Gifts

by Mof Gimmers

When us mere mortals make some kind of gesture to an incredibly wealthy celebrity, we expect our meagre offerings to be useless to them, but at least met with some vague gratefulness, right? What on Earth could you offer someone who has probably already bought everything in the world? Including actual humans from Africa. And [...]

9 comments Read more >>>

Madonna Has A New Film Out Which Will Be Rubbish (Here’s Why)

by Mof Gimmers

Madonna. She made a lot of great pop records. A LOT. She’s a successful business woman (when she’s not setting up failed gyms in Mexico) and owns a record label that launched another bunch of stars. However, one thing she never got right was the movies. Not that this has stopped her from releasing a [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

People Continue To Employ Cheryl Cole For Inexplicable Reasons (Glee and ‘A Film With Cameron Diaz In It’ Beckon)

by Sophie Hall

You may remember a few months ago (and if you don’t remember, you’re a liar, because we ALL remember. We just don’t talk about it anymore) someone, somewhere on the horizon of logic sacked Cheryl Cole upon realising she is an entirely pointless human woman. Yeah, you remember. It was brilliant. After years being mollycoddled [...]

5 comments Read more >>>

Lea Michele Obvious In Dirty Dancing Remake… Justin Bieber To Take Lead?

by Mof Gimmers

Remember us telling you the mindcrushing news that Dirty Dancing was about to be remade? Well, Glee’s Lea Michele is strongly rumoured to be lined up for the part of ‘Baby’, as made famous by Jennifer Grey. She’s a pretty obvious choice when you think about it, what with her being incredibly wholesome, and thereby, [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →