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Film

Superman Returns To Krypton

by Kris Silver

2011 appears to be the year of the big budget comic book movie. When it comes to adaptations of graphic novels, we’re being spoiled rotten right now. Marvel’s first avenger, Captain America has just hit cinemas worldwide, Green Lantern… well, it happened didn’t it… and we’ve been given 3 brand spanking new teaser trailers to [...]

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JLS: The Club Is Alive With The Sound Of Auto Tune

by Kris Silver

JLS fans haven’t been very kind to us of late. Apparently they don’t like the fact that we inferred that their favourite band mimed some bad words and threw one of those showbiz hissy fit things at T4 On The Beach, which they TOTALLY did. Naturally being the reasonable and thoughtful people we are, we [...]

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JLS Get All Upset At T4 On The Beach And Mime Swear Words At Everyone

by Matthew Laidlow

It’s been a weekend full of festivals with nearly every performer you can think of out to plug any old tat they’ve got coming out soon. Up in Scotland, a mix of indie, rock and electronica could be found, although annoyances like Bruno Mars still managed to evade security and get on stage at T [...]

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Natalie Portman Gives Newborn Millipede A Stupid Name Of Course

by Mof Gimmers

Celebrities! Ha! One thing you can count on is that, at some point in their ultimately worthless lives, they’ll decide that fulfilment lies in family. Settling down with a partner and having children and buying a dog and making soup. It’s there in the dull things that they’ll find spiritual enlightenment. They’ll probably start doing [...]

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Film Review: Bad Teacher

by Justrestingmyeyes

Let’s get one thing straight. No-one, but no-one, likes a worthy teacher film. Nothing brings up the traditional blogger’s lunch of White Lightning and pocket fluff into a hecklersprayer’s gullet quicker than watching some earnest nonsense where some skinny blonde chick like Mickey Piffler changes the lives of a gang of murderous children simply through [...]

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Natalie Portman Gives Birth To Human Centipede With Benjamin Millepied

by Mof Gimmers

Sadly, we’ve already used up our only joke in the headline of this story, but rest assured, because Natalie Portman has had a baby with Benjamin Millepied, we’ll almost certainly use it again. Because we’re thick. And unimaginative. Anyway, Natalie Portman seems to have been pregnant for roughly eight years, which is not surprising seeing [...]

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The Scissor Sisters To Write Songs For Fraggle Rock Film, Which They’ll Ruin

by Mof Gimmers

Remember Fraggle Rock? Do you? Oooooh! Yes! There was… uh… Wembley. Red. The one in the dressing gown. Um. Those little fellas who had scaffolding made from sugar or something. And then there was the giant lummox with the allotment. And… er… Marjory the Trash Heap. Oh, and if you watched it in the UK, [...]

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Kim Cattrall Hilariously Thinks That The UK Doesn’t See Her As Samantha From Sex And The City

by Mof Gimmers

If someone said ‘Kim Cattrall’ to you, chances are, you wouldn’t know who the shit they were talking about. If they held up a photograph of them, once you’d stopped questioning why they were so keen to get your opinion on something, you’d say “that’s her from Sex And The City and absolutely nothing else!” [...]

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Kim Cattrall Finds Dating Scary, But Is It As Scary As Her Face?

by Mof Gimmers

Sex And The City is a show that should have been taken to a public square and flogged to within an inch of its life, leaving only a greasy stain and a pair of expensive shoes. Effectively, the show managed to make womankind look like the most vapid, arrogant, backward idiots ever to walk this [...]

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Natalie Portman To Quit Acting In Favour Of Being A Family-Having Borebag

by Mof Gimmers

Natalie Portman has suggested that she might quit all that acting lark. Why? Well, she’s seemingly intent on becoming a massive bore. That means she wants to focus on her family and presumably litter her Facebook with constant pictures of stupid humans that have grown in her womb. She’s currently incubating an inevitable disappointment which [...]

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