Christina Aguilera has a problem. That problem is not knowing when to tone it down when she’s singing. That’s it. That’s the only thing that is truly wearisome about her. Even when she flubbed her lines while singing the American National Anthem, only bozos got narked.

However, there’s another thing that people keep mentioning – her weight.

See, Xtina has put a bit of chub on lately and pretty much no-one gives three hoots. And why would they? She’s not stealing food from your plate. However, women appear to be obsessed with the breadth of female celebrities with the caveat of ‘not that it matters of course!’ Either way, by not caring, Aguilera has been asked about her dress size. Again. Apparently, she’s thrilled.

Speculation that has come almost entirely from women’s magazines (who simultaneously complain about an imagined obsession with girl’s weight from men) about Christina’s weight has floated around for years now, and to address this notion with an air of ‘solidarity’, Aguilera has revealed she’s happy with her fuller figure. Naturally, all correspondence reveals that her boyfriend Matt Rutler is crazy for her curves as well!

This message is as follows: “Yeah, I’ve noticed that you’ve noticed my change in weight, but I’m cool with it and my boyfriend is also cool with it. See? It’s okay to be a little heavier. You can totally get the affirmation from men too because, ostensibly, that’s what it’s all about… right?”

Speaking to the press, she said:

“I have a boyfriend that loves my body. I love my body, my son is healthy and happy and that is all that matters.”

She added:

“Women, we are definitely under a microscope and under massive scrutiny. As long as I am happy in my own skin, that is all that is all the confirmation I need.”

She’s right. Women are under the microscope. From other women. Women who can’t make their minds up whether to bitch about cellulite or constantly mention the size of a woman, regardless of whether she’s too thin or too fat. In addition to this, young feminists can bring the weight issue up to each other, saying how great it is that Christina is more ‘curvy’ now, thereby judging her on her appearance with the addendum of ‘she looks much better than she did when she was a stick-thin waif.’

In other news: Shut up.

Don’t you just hate it when someone you love, admire and possibly think about in a dirty way when you have at least one free hand, turns out to be nothing more than a former all singing, all dancing, would happily punch repeatedly in the face, jumper wearing, Mickey Mouse Club super brat?

We’re talking about YOU Ryan ‘I’m now highly respected and will sleep with everyone’ Gosling.

Yes, self harmingly bland Justin Timberlake went on the Ellen Show and ruined any credibility that Ryan Gosling ever had by announcing that not only were they both made in the evil Disney factory but that they even shared a house together aged 11, making us wish we were dead.

Timberlake gushed:

‘Funnily enough, his mother had to keep her job in Canada the second year that we were on the television show and my mom was like his guardian for six months.”

‘So we actually lived together at that age. So we were probably a little closer than the rest of the kids on that show were just because we had to share a bathroom.’

He didn’t shut up there. There was still a shred of Ryan’s dignity left.

‘We used to do terrible things. Looking back on them they weren’t as bad as I thought they were at the time. We thought we were so cool when we were on the Mickey Mouse Club.’

Well you weren’t. Not even a little bit. Shh.

So what did they do that was so bad? Snort lines off bald hookers? Set fire to Britney Spears? Oh no, it was worse.

‘We stole a golf cart. We were like “Yeah man we stole a golf cart. You know what it’s like on a back lot- there are golf carts everywhere.”‘

‘We drove into MGM studios which is totally illegal by the way.’

Finally, Timberlake hammered the final nail in Gosling’s coffin by revealing that the pair used to speak to each other in a version of hilarious faux gangster speak. According to Justin. Not us.

‘I was like, ‘What do you want to do thug?’ and he was like ‘I don’t know cus,’ because that’s definitely how we talked.’

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN????

‘I said ‘I don’t know man. I’m in the mood for some vanilla and he was like ‘I’m in the mood for some chocolate.’ So then we went and got milkshakes.’

That’s not ‘hilarious’,  it’s disturbingly lame.

BUT NOT AS LAME AS THIS VIDEO!!!

Shame on you Gosling.

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Filth. Absolute filth. That’s what today’s celebrities are. You wouldn’t get old, classy celebrities like Marilyn Monroe posing naked for photographs would you? Certainly not. She had self-respect.

However, thanks to the wonderful technological advances of mobile phones and those cameras they’ve got built into them, we are now a planet of people capturing their nether-regions and sending them to other humans.

Celebs are no different… apart from the small fact that people want to hack into their phones and share them with the world. So which leaked celebrity n00dz are the best? Click over the jump where it is astonishingly NSFW.

You can’t move for naked celebrities, leaked or otherwise. The advent of the sex tape has added a whole other element to the voyeuristic nature of watching the lives of famous people.

For the first time, it feels like we can peer behind their bedroom doors and watch them at it. Even Sally from Home And Away has been caught out bumping uglies on a very noisy waterbed.

However, we need to place some kind of arbitrary importance on these photographs because, lets face it, some people get private images leaked and after we’ve stopped gawping at their flesh, we wonder who the hell they are.

And so, here are the 12 most ‘important’ or ‘best’ leaked celebrity photos.

And no, thanks to the British law, we haven’t included Dappy from N Dubz, although if you want to look at his long, thin member, we’re pretty sure you can find it online easily enough.

Renee Olstead

You may not have heard of Renee Olstead, but she’s a singer and actress. She makes this list because she’s the first celebrity to actually put a little effort into her nudey snaps. Leaked last March, Olstead went from being a kinda-nobody to a woman who everyone admired, albeit briefly. You can see her VERY NSFW snaps here.

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton had her phone hacked and pretty much invented the notion of a sleb becoming famous on the back of leaked photos… and of course, videos.

Ke$ha

Possibly the first time in history when pictures leaked of a celebrity and everyone actively wished they hadn’t seen them. Ke$ha appeared covered in someone’s love-gravy and everyone felt a little nauseous.

Hayley Williams

There’s something about rappers, RnB and pop singers that make you assume they’re dirty swine. However, delicate emo flowers like Paramore singer Hayley Williams was a little more surprising when she “accidentally tweeted” her boobies to everyone.

Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera went from being unattainably famous to a National Anthem forgetting, nude drunk in the space of a week. Here’s one of the leaked pictures.

Vanessa Hudgens

Vanessa Hudgens, star of High School Musical, became the classic ‘teen star’ who was sullied by having a life outside the squeaky-clean bubble of Disney. There’s a naked video floating around which allegedly features Hudgens too. Happy hunting.

Chris Brown

Chris Brown is one of the few celebrities who was reportedly unfazed by the leaking of naked photos of him. This is either because he’s got a big appendage or he’s unable to form a sense of shame, as shown when he continually forgot to show remorse for smacking Rihanna in the face.

Rihanna

Speaking of Rihanna, she had naked photographs leaked too. Did they contribute to the incident with Chris Brown? Rumours suggest as such, not that you lot care.

Kanye West

Apparently, Kanye was always sending pictures of himself to the ladies before he became gigantically famous. And here he is, showing of his Monster.

Miley Cyrus

Miley was only of interest to pre-teens, but then, after the leaking of some pictures, she transformed into an actual celebrity. Sure, no-one really knows what she does anymore, but these pictures helped to propel her career onward, rather than sideways. Daft pout though.

Ashely Greene

You know Ashley Greene right? She’s in the Twilight films. In 2009, we all ended up seeing more of her than she probably imagined.

Scarlett Johansson

The most famous of the lot, Scarlett Johansson managed to melt the entire internet when her boobies broke free. Jessica Alba must be absolutely thrilled because there was a vague hint of self-shot nudity dithering around the web, but ScarJo completely obliterate her and got hecklerspray lots and lots of traffic. Thanks.

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America is feeling very, very patriotic at the moment as they unify in memory over the events of 9/11, when some planes went and killed a load of people. Horrifying stuff, not least for the pointless memories of those on twitter saying “I remember watching it on TV”

And America is jumpy enough at the moment. First off, the American Army declared war on Soulja Boy after he said they were rubbish… and now, they’ve got Cyndi Lauper to invade too.

That’s because Lauper did the worst thing imaginable. She got the words wrong to the American National Anthem. As well you know, messing with the Star Spangled Banner, or indeed, mocking the bit of cloth that is their flag, is punishable by death.

Cyndi was part of a 9/11 memorial at some stupid sporting event and crooned The Star Spangled Banner following a moment of silence for victims of the terrorist attacks.

Alas, getting the words wrong, she may as well have squatted over a soldier’s helmet and defecated into it while setting fire to a box filled with American flags.

The evil, malicious Lauper sang;

“O’er the ramparts we watched, as our flag was still streaming.”

Any fool know that it should be:

“O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming.”

Of course, earlier this year, Christina Aguilera was sentenced to death via firing squad for fluffing her lines from the US Anthem at the Super Bowl.

Lauper will now be taken to The Hague for a war crime trial where it is expected that John McCain will lift his arms above his head for the first time in a decade to bludgeon Lauper to death with a paving slab.

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Remember when the organisers of the Michael Jackson tribute gig said that those who travelled to Cardiff (obviously the natural home for a MJ tribute) would see “the biggest and best concert in the world”?

Well they won’t. By some distance too.

See, the initial line-up has been revealed and it looks more like a revival revue, with ageing acts wheeled out to bask in the spotlight still shining on Jackson’s increasingly withered corpse. So who can we look forward to seeing? Alien Ant Farm anyone?

This show will remind us what a great performer Michael was, mainly by showcasing the dreck we’ve got left on this dreadful sun-orbiting sphere of ours.

Set to maul Jackson’s back catalogue are luminaries such as JLS, Craig David, Alien Ant Farm and 3T. Remember 3T? Of course you don’t. 3T are Tito Jackson’s sons. That’s how desperate a line-up this is.

Cee Lo Green is also set to appear, as is Leona Lewis. Again, hardly A-List.

Justin Bieber has said he won’t be doing it and RnB no-marks Bruno Mars and Chris Brown have “respectfully declined”. That’s Chris Brown, who punches women, saying no to a Michael Jackson tribute gig in Wales.

Tickets aren’t on sale yet because… well… there’s no guarantee anyone will actually want to buy any after seeing the terrible line-up. And they certainly won’t want to fork out £55 a ticket (for restricted view) to watch Craig David put an ill-advised rap into ‘Heal The World’.

Worse still, it’ll be four excruciatingly long hours in total.

It’s so awful that even the official Michael Jackson Fan Club aren’t giving any support to the show. Still, at least it’ll give light relief to everyone who wants a laugh while the manslaughter trial of Dr Conrad Murray goes ahead. It’ll be lovely for Randy and Jermaine Jackson to have everyone stuck in a tedious show while they’re trying “focus on the matter of justice” that weekend.

How tasteful.

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Here at hecklerspray, we know a good pie when we see one and our love of their consumption is legendary the world over. However, our combined level of the consumption of the humble steak and kidney can be rapidly outstripped by human food vacuum Cee Lo Green.

You might remember Cee Lo from that piss awful ‘Forget You’ number that was redone from being ‘F**k You’ in order to get more radio play and completely destroying what little artistic credibility he had based on his time as part of Gnarls Barkley. More recently, you might have heard that he’s not a big fan of the gays.

The famed cake enthusiast has explained his recent comments to music critic Andrea Swensson that were perceived as being homophobic. The rotund Elton John tribute act sent a Twitter message to Swensson on Friday, in response to a negative review of his recent Minneapolis performance, questioning whether she had been offended by his masculinity due to her sexuality. She’s a lesbian you see which means that she’s bound to be terrified of things with penises.

Green has now defended his comments, and insisted that he had simply been trying to have a joke after spending three hours ploughing through pork scratchings in an effort to disguise the pain of a negative review. Let us remember that this is the man who constantly inflicts Gwyneth Paltrow upon the live music scene. If anyone deserves a bad review- it’s Cee Lo Green.

Green says, wiping away Twinkies from his face:

“I was being a little outspoken that night, a little outrageous”

“I always expect people to assume that everything I do is part of my character and my sense of humour. I assumed that whoever it was would assume it was all in good fun. It wasn’t taken so well, apparently.”

Of course, Cee Lo’s comments were all in good fun. Jim Davidson was said to have been creasing himself with laughter. Unfortunately, it was taken as being offensive by his target. How anyone could take an overtly homophobic comment as having homophobic overtones completely escapes us.

While admitting that sending the message had been a mistake, Green asserted that he is in no way homophobic and prides himself on being one of the most liberal artists in the music business by constantly dressing like Rod Hull’s former puppet companion Emu.

“I certainly am not harbouring any sort of negative feeling towards the gay community”

If I could take it all back, I would. I was not being serious. I just wanted to defend our performance”

Unfortunately, what is said cannot be unsaid and he can only spend the rest of his life backtracking through his Narnia-like wardrobe until eventually people forget that he’s a homophobe by completely forgetting that he ever existed in the first place. Cee Lo Green. A dull, compromised footnote in the tome of popular music.

Green is currently appearing as a vocal coach on NBC talent contest The Voice which must be a truly awful experience for the American viewing public.

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Since Christina Aguilera flubbed the American National anthem at the Super Bowl, starred in the impressively eventless Burlesque and got arrested for being more drunk than Oliver Reed’s liver, she’s not been too much fun.

In fact, she’s been something of a bore. Instead of properly going off the rails, she’s turned into a little walking book of calm, sounding for all the world like a quack that appears on Geraldo or something.

And so, despite the fact we’ve all seen her boobs in Those ‘Leaked’ Naked Photos, Xtina decided to be incredibly serious and overwrought about the fact her tatas nearly fell out of her dress, repeatedly, while appearing on the show, The Voice. 

That’s right, Aguilera came *that close* to bearing all on US television after a near wardrobe malfunction. This all happened while she was promoting her new TV show The Voice, which looks pretty awful.

During the performance, her dress strap repeatedly fell down, leaving our warbling warbler to continually forcibly yank the thing up in an attempt to stop viewers getting their eyes poked out.

Christina, instead of playing it all off with a shrug and a laugh, said:

“Hey, if you want a career doing this, you have to roll with the punches”

Right, here comes the funnies, yeah?

“You know, you’re going to have your highs and lows, but you keep going. And every single time you take that stage that’s another opportunity for you to prove to not only the world, but to yourself, that you are stronger and [can] get up there a better person.”

Oh piss off.

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Child stars are funny critters. Once they start to grow pubic hair or develop a deeper voice, it generally means that Mickey Mouse can no longer work with the individual in question, usually tossing them to the pavement for Pluto to mock.

Once you’ve appeared in a Disney show, you somehow have to prove yourself so you can go on and get serious work.

There are a variety of ways to achieve this. Miley Cyrus posed in her undercrackers and had a go on a bong whilst Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera flashed their genitals. Vanessa Hudgens is known for being part of the irritating High School Musical franchise where everyone seemed worryingly happy on a permanent scale.

Since breaking up from Zac Efron, we haven’t heard much from Vanesa Hudgens, though with the supposed “leak” of casual lesbian antics, she’ll have gotten on a few more radars.

Not that you’d be interested, but all sorts of sordid filth happens round the hecklerspray bedsit. All writers have to be vetted and this is a process involving a bottle of baby oil, cold water and a trampoline. These images are locked away in a safe so human eyes can’t see them. For them to magically appear on the internet, we’d have to physically upload them all whilst gagging on the photos of some people doing stuff that shouldn’t be possible according to science.

It’s strange how this is the second incident of Vanessa Hudgens having naughty pictures appear on the internet for perverts to have a couple of moments pleasure over.

Whilst she was going out with High School Musical co-star Zac Efron, a series of nude photos hit the internet. All we can assume is that these private exchanges were leaked either by Hudgens or Efron. Or one of their “wacky” mates did it for comedic purposes.

Therefore, you’d assume that Vanessa Hudgens would have had been a bit more sense than letting someone take photos of her kissing a girl called Alexa Nikolas. Anyone? Nope, us either.

Supposedly, she’s another child star who appeared in a show called Zoey 101. We have no idea what this is about, if anything, it sounds like some sort of sordid filth where an adult actress shows you 101 different ways of having sex with her.

However, we’ve found out that:

“Nikolas appeared in Hudgens’ music video for “Come Back to Me,” the lead single from her debut album, 2006’s V and is reportedly best friends with the star.”

Allow us to put on our slippers and light a pipe whilst we sit down with a pint of ale. The youth of today really are out of order don’t you think? Is this what friends do these days? When we were younger and less cynical, kissing each other was out of the question, mainly because we didn’t know what it was. Instead, we waltzed freely through green forests, making lemonade or throwing stones at people’s doors and running away so we didn’t get a clip round the ear.

Oh how we laughed.

If this trend continues, then we expect the cast of Glee to be caught up in some sordid dogging incident when they visit summer camp or whatever the hell it is Americans do.

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Americans seem to love those cowboy country men. You know the ones who politely love the ladies, fondle tractors and sometimes kiss each other while pretending to look after cattle up a mountain, almost as much as they love their slightly mental divas who can run up and down a scale at precisely the same speed as Justin Bieber’s first attempt at intercourse with another person.

So it made TOTAL sense when they decided to get some bloke hecklerspray hasn’t made fun of until now – Blake Shelton and the ever expanding Christina ‘make mine a double please’ Aguilera together in the same room to become part of the coaching panel on a new reality singing show called ‘ The Voice’.

We can hardly wait.

Until approx 7 mins ago we didn’t know or give a rat’s ass who Blake Shelton was but in case you care, he sings country songs, wins awards for singing country songs and probably hasn’t done anything remotely evil in his entire life.

Also on the panel are dress destroying Cee-Lo Green and Adam Lavine from Maroon 5 who makes us even less excited than ‘thingy’ Shelton.

34 year old Blake Carrington joked:

“I’m not sure ‘The Voice’ knows what they signed on for by bringing me on the show”

We’re not entirely sure either. Maybe to make that Maroon 5 bloke look slightly more dangerous or so the country music loving fans don’t bring their pitchforks to the studio and start line dancing in protest.

The show starts on the 26th April and the four judges will select the contestants based on blind auditions.

Yes, that’s right – NO TITS WILL BE USED TO WIN FAVOUR WITH THE MALE JUDGES.

So no doubt we’ll be left watching a group of people who can hold a tune but who all look like Rocky Dennis from Mask.

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Oh America. You’re a silly continent sized country. Someone can drink one bottle of spirits on a night out and suddenly, they’ve got a problem. Not surprising that there’s this attitude when the most popular beer is things like Bud Light, which to a European, is akin to water, seeing as Budweiser itself is about as intoxicating as sucking a warm ice cube.

And of course, with Christina Aguilera seemingly getting completely shit-faced for the first time ever (in the public eye at least), the whole country is gathering ’round her to see if she’d like a hug and a lift to rehab.

Naturally, The People Close To The Singer, such as her ex-husband Jordan ‘Do The’ Bratman, and now wringing their hands, furrowing their brows and sighing with faux-reluctance that alcohol has always been something of an issue with poor ol’ troubled Aguilera.

And so it transpires that Christina Aguilera has always had a ‘problem’ with demon drink, and will crushing inevitability, people are coming out to fret about the whole thing. And all because she got arrested, but not charged with ‘having a fun night out after drinking a couple of bottles of wine’.

Of course, her boyfriend Matt Rutler is a tit. He got hammered and then jumped in his car to drive home. When will celebrities learn that the only people who get off the hook with drink driving are vicars and priests?

Ex-husband Jordan Bratman, naturally, hasn’t ever wanted to talk about Xtina’s drinking problems before, because he was in the limelight while married to her. Now no-one really gives two hoots about him, he’s sidled up to Aguilera’s drunkenly slumped torso with his hands open saying “Hi. My name is Jordan Bratman. You may remember me as Christina’s husband from a while back. Now, what you see here is a drunk singer… I tried telling her, but she wouldn’t listen…”

That’s right! Bratman has kept a stoic silence until now. Now being the time when there might be a custody battle or some money to fleece from a divorce settlement.

Classy.

All the while, the rest of America stands patiently awaiting Christina’s inevitable talkshow appearance where she promises to get back on track and do a stint in rehab (America’s equivalent of the confession booth) and everyone can cheer and clap and underline the notion of betterment which many American citizens blindly sign up to without ever considering that it might all be one massive, overflowing crock of pig swill.

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Christina Aguilera hasn’t been having a fun time of late. For a kick off, she’s been in the film Burlesque, which was not exactly well received (it’ll be a future classic, like Showgirls, but for now, we’re all too busy sneering).

Then, there was the whole ‘Oops! Someone hacked me and leaked those grotty looking naked pictures to everyone!’ thing. What? You missed that. Click here then, you gigantic filth trouser.

Things seemed to have climaxed with her forgetting some of the words to the American national anthem at the Superbowl shortly after a divorce. That’d be surely it? Not a chance. Apparently, she’s a borderline alcoholic… and she’s been arrested for it too.

Now, people who get arrested for being drunk usually smell of urine and can be found perched atop park benches fast asleep, or muttering slurred swear words on a bus somewhere. However, this is Christina Aguilera – she’s surely got a bit more class than that right?

Obviously that means could be found smelling or urine after drinking very expensive wine or Kristal.

Anyway, Xtina has been arrested on a misdemeanour charge in the wee-small hours while her boyfriend Matthew Rutler got cuffed for driving under the influence of alcohol.

Sources reckon that Aguilera was “extremely intoxicated” and “unable to take care of herself”.

That sounds like hecklerspray when we’ve had a few and we probably judge ourselves far more harshly than the people of America are currently tutting-up at the ‘Genie In A Bottle’ singer right now. And remember kids, America is amazingly judgemental about booze. It just shows you the levels of our own self-loathing.

Christina, apparently, wouldn’t have been arrested if her fella hadn’t been trying to drive around like a mad thing. However, sources claim that Aguilera’s friends and family have been trying to get her into a rehab for weeks.

Let us be honest here – it’s the most interesting thing Aguilera has done since ‘Ain’t No Other Man’. Good work. Resist rehab for a bit and go mental in public first.

We need you.

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Americans are funny aren’t they? They’re just mad about their stupid national anthem. Apparently, Americans sing it 78 times a day, just so they can feel more American! You would have thought that, by virtue of the fact that they’re American, they wouldn’t need to remind themselves so frequently.

And one of the most notable national anthems is the one crooned by famous people before the Superbowl, where everyone in the US swells with pride and everyone else sniggers at them behind their backs.

This year, Christina Aguilera has been chosen to sing The Star Spangled Banner and given the task of trying her best to not laugh while singing “And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there” while America does its best to get involved in every single war on Earth.

So yeah. The Superbowl, as most Americans will know, will be in Texas on February 6th and millions of people around the world will tune in just to see if 2011will be the year they finally understand what the fuss about American Football is all about. Just like last year. And the year before that. And so on.

Of course, this isn’t the first time that Aguilera has been involved with a Superbowl. She of course performed during the much coveted halftime show during the 2000 Superbowl in Atlanta.

Aguilera says of the opportunity:

“I have been performing the Anthem since I was seven years old and I must say the Super Bowl is a dream come true”

“I am really excited to be part of such an iconic event.”

Hands up if you read that as ‘ironic event’. Just us? Oh well.

Aguilera now joins a pantheon of stars who have performed the national anthem before, including Diana Ross, Neil Diamond, Mariah Carey, Billy Joel and Beyonce. We can only hope Christina nails it like Rosanne did at some event or other in 1990, as opposed to carting out the histrionics and making the whole tedious thing last for what seems like an age.

The halftime show will, of course, feature the Status Quo of pop – The Black Eyed Peas.

As ever, they’ll invade the pitch as the American Tossball players have a break which seems to last an hour while fans run onto the pitch. Naturally, with the Black Eyed Peas playing, that halftime break could feel a helluva lot longer. Lets just hope they don’t sing “let’s get retarded” because, y’know, that’s a really horrible thing to say in a song.

They’ve got to live up to drab performances from the likes of U2, Bruce Springsteen and The Who.

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There’s nothing like accidentally leaking some saucy pictures of yourself to get some much needed publicity. And that’s exactly what seems to be happening with Christina Aguilera who is under the impression her career is ailing.

Of course, it isn’t. Sure, she’s not hitting the heady heights she once did, but she’s hardly a failure if you consider the interest around her last LP and the fact she’s starring with Cher in (admittedly ropey) a big budget camp movie.

But you don’t care about that. You want to see her with barely any clothes on don’t you? Click over the jump then and we’ll show you her shaved front-bum.

These near-nude photos of US singer Christina Aguilera started circulating online yesterday, leaving us to assume that they were probably leaked on-purpose-by-accident like Courtney Love and That Attractive Hayley Woman From That Rubbish Emo Band.

However, the official story is that these snaps were stolen by a computer hacker.

An Aguilera representative lashed out at the leak of the pictures showing the star wearing pasties and… well… not much else.

The photos were “illegally obtained by a hacker” who swiped them from Aguilera’s stylist, the representative said, adding that they would pursue the offender aggressively.

“The pictures were taken in the privacy of Ms. Aguilera’s home and were used only in a personal exchange between the star and her stylist”

And here’s one of the offending pictures. Click here if you want to see the rest and have a big ol’ play with your wotsits you mucky buggers.

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There have been pretty full-on rumours that Christina Aguilera is pregnant. They started shortly before she received her Hollywood Walk of Fame star and became harder to ignore with her American Music Awards 2010 performance. For the record, she’s pregnant with nothing but wishful thinking. There’s no baby in there; only cake.

When the American Music Awards aired on Sunday, and Christina took to the stage, she started her song sitting down with her back to the audience.

She probably had a good 30 seconds of people marvelling at her rather jaunty bowler hat, rather than her stomach. Then came the nail-biting moment when she had to stand up and turn around… dun dun dun.

The gain was most noticeable around her mid-section. As one does not usually exclusively gain weight in one area, people began to speculate. Turns out she’s a self-confessed stress-eater; eating her feelings, since filing for divorce from her husband.

This is according to sources close to the singer, who were dismayed to learn that sudden extra kilos around one’s stomach leads people to assume pregnancy.

It’s a good thing Christina isn’t expecting another baby. She’s on the gruelling promotional trail for her forthcoming movie and she’s… um… what else is she doing again? Oh, yes. There’s a whisper that her failed Bionic album may be re-released.

So, that’ll keep her nice and busy.

From Gossip Cop:

Aguilera is NOT pregnant.  A source close to the singer tells Gossip Cop, “She is going through a hard time, getting divorced, opening a film and caring for her son and hasn’t had time to work out,” which is why she’s gained a little weight.

This was a guest post by Amy Grindhouse, so hooray for that.

Christina Aguilera is about to become single. Great news if you’re deluded enough to think you’re in with a shot of becoming her soulmate… if only you had the chance to meet her! You could show her that an ordinary guy like you could really make her happy. You couldn’t. You’d make her endlessly miserable.

Of course, any celebrity break-up sees the rumour mill doing overtime, and lately, Aguilera was linked with Samantha Ronson. She must be dynamite in the sack, eh?

However, something far more troubling is being muttered about. There have been reports that Christina has suffered from domestic abuse after she was spotted out and about with a massive bruise on her lip.Now, we like to make jokes about the most depressing of reports, mainly because poking fun at a situation is our cowardly way of avoiding the crushing reality of the world.

However, spousal abuse is a leap too far even for us.

Reports surfaced earlier in the week hinting that there may have been a physical altercation between Aguilera and her estranged husband Jordan Bratman the day she filed for divorce.

On that very day, she was seen with a bruise on her face, which set the alarm bells off for all concerned.

However, a source close to the couple confirms there was no violence.

The source says:

“She fell. It was a simple fall, nothing else.”

We certainly hope that this is true but we can’t help thinking that ‘she fell’ sounds a little bit like ‘I walked into a door’. For now at least, we give all concerned the benefit of the doubt.

Mainly because we don’t want to get our arses sued for making wild accusations.

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