You've had a very hard week haven't you? That Diane in accounting asked you to do that did she? She takes you for granted so much you know. We at hecklerspray love you very much. We would never take you for granted.
What you want to do is, pour yourself a massive gin (it's the Queen?s favourite don't you know) and get so blitzed that you don't know where you are until the hangover kicks in at around Monday dinner time, just in time for a Boots meal deal. That?d be a great way to spend a weekend wouldn't it? Absolutely off your face. Imagine not knowing how you got scratches and bruises. Intense.
If that isn't for you though, maybe you're a bit skint, or maybe ecstasy is your one true passion? Then we have the second best thing to do this weekend, and that's watch all these brilliant TV shows and talk to us about them. A human conversation with someone. How avant garde.